[Intro] [FEMALE] Remember when we could sleep anywhere? [MALE] …Who the fuck designed my spine? [Hook] [FEMALE + MALE] Snap! (there it goes!) Crackle! (goddamn!) Pop! (my knee!) Round and round it never stops! Snap! Crackle! Pop! Getting old can kiss my ass! Snap! Crackle! Pop! Did my left knee just… pop? [Verse 1] [FEMALE] Woke up sore… from sleeping fine. Neck checked out… before nine. Bent to tie… my damn shoe. Heard three pops… now what’d I do? Grabbed my phone… Couldn’t read. Billboard mode… Fixed the chat. Stretching helped… half a second. Now my right side… learned the lesson. [Pre-Hook] [MALE] Remember jumping out of bed? Now I negotiate… with gravity. [Hook] [FEMALE + MALE] Snap! (there it goes!) Crackle! (goddamn!) Pop! (my back!) Everything’s under attack! Snap! Crackle! Pop! Factory warranty’s expired. Snap! Crackle! Pop! Momma… explained aging. [Verse 2] [MALE] Sneezed once… immediate regret. Coughed twice… ain’t right yet. Reached for the remote… career-ending move. Pulled something… reaching again. Sat too long… stood too fast. Every move’s… a risky task. Doctor said… “You need to stretch.” I did… Now something else hurts. [Break] [FEMALE] You think that’s bad? [MALE] Nah… YOU think that’s bad? [Rap Battle] [FEMALE] Heating pad! [MALE] Ice pack! [FEMALE] Eight hours! [MALE] Still sore! [FEMALE] New mattress! [MALE] Didn’t help! [FEMALE] Walk it off! [MALE] Can’t today! [FEMALE] Stand up straight! [MALE] I am! [FEMALE] Vitamin D! [MALE] What’s that?! [BOTH] WHO DESIGNED JOINTS?! [Breakdown] [BOTH] Neck locked. Back cracked. Knees popped. Stand up. Sit down. Rolled over… Forgot. Still surviving… That’s the brand. Snap. Crackle. Pop. [Bridge] [FEMALE] Remember laughing when old people made those noises? [MALE] Yeah… Turns out… They weren’t complaining. They were giving us a preview. [Final Hook] [BOTH] Snap! (there it goes!) Crackle! (goddamn!) Pop! (last nerve!) Laugh or cry… Your choice, world! Snap! Crackle! Pop! Momma explained aging. Snap! Crackle! Pop! Still surviving… That’s the brand. Snap.
