(Intro) [Verse 1] They said, “Stay home, you'll save a life,” Then opened every bar and served the wife. “Keep two metres!”—“Back to work!” Funny how the virus knew which days to shirk. They said, “The masks don't really work,” Then fined me for forgetting one at work. “Trust the science!”—yes, of course, But yesterday's science has just changed its source. [Chorus] It's getting better all the time, It's getting better all the time, (It couldn't get no worse—) The goalposts move, the rules revise, The experts change their minds. Well, that was yesterday's line! It's getting better all the time. [Verse 2] “Just two weeks and this will end,” Then two weeks stretched around the bend. “Take one jab and you'll be free!” Then suddenly there came a second, even three. “It's safe and effective”—good to know, It took a while to stop the show. I asked when all the shots would cease: They said, “That's classified. Now sign the release.” [Verse 3] My phone knows everything I do, It knows my socks and breakfast too. I mentioned curtains—what a shock! An advert for the bloody things popped up. My uncle says, “It's all a plot!” My neighbour says, “They've got the lot!” I asked them both, “But what's the proof?” They sent me twenty links marked “TRUTH.” [Chorus] It's getting better all the time, It's getting better all the time, (It couldn't get no worse—) Half the world's a psy-op, And half the world's online. Though someone might design A newer, better crisis By the end of this lunchtime. [Bridge] Maybe there's a mastermind, Maybe there's a plan, Maybe twelve incompetent men Can't find the goddamn van. Maybe every crisis Has a secret underneath, Or maybe they're just making it up To fill the not the nine o'clock news feed. [Verse 4] So now I question what I'm told, And question what I think I know. I check the facts, I change my mind, And leave the tinfoil hat behind. If tomorrow brings another scare, I'll breathe in slowly, check somewhere. Then make my coffee, face the day, And let the talking heads all have their say. [Final Chorus] It's getting better all the time, It's getting better all the time, (It couldn't get no worse—) They can sell me fear, But they can't tell me then it’s fine. At least that's what they say— But somehow every yesterday Gets worse again today! It's getting better all the time, It's getting better all the time, The world's completely bonkers, But at least the jokes are mine. [Outro] Getting better... Getting better... (It couldn't get no worse…aaaah!)
