Grandma used to say I got the charm of a mule Spilled my sweet tea in the neighbor’s pool Dog ran off with my left boot again Now I’m barefoot fightin’ raccoons in the wind Neighbor Joe keeps yellin’ “boy get down” But I’m two corn dogs deep in a nightgown Banjo screamin’, pants got a tear I think I just lost my last good chair WHYYYYYYY’s my life like a yard sale dream Duct tape heart and gasoline jeans If chaos was money I’d own this town But I keep trippin’ over my own dang clown 🤡 Ahuyoiyiyiyiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiui I’m a mess on wheels A fried bologna king with emotional peels Don’t fix me up, just let me be A Walmart ghost with a physics PhD Mama caught me talkin’ to a traffic cone Said “that boy ain’t right, I'll beat you with a bone” I named that cone “Sir Beepington” And now we hang out every Saturday night Tried to flirt down at the bait shop line Fell on the ground and worm went down my throat Didn't bother flirtn' cause I lost my spine I'm better off makin' love with a goat WHYYYYYYY do my plans all rot Like a casserole that lady from church forgot I shoot my shot, it hits a tree Then ricochets and hits me in the knee YEEHAWWWW I’m a certified wreck Got BBQ sauce runnin’ down my neck If brains were like an engine I’d stall out quick But I still got vibes and a pretty big stick huehuehuehue somebody stole my tires again?? AIYOOOOOO I’m ridin’ on liquor and vibes Got a shopping cart with emotions inside WHYYYYYYY am I built this way Like a haunted barn on a Saturday But if you’re lost come sing with me We’ll howl at the moon and disagree YEEHAWWWW let the nonsense flow Got a chicken that runs my radio If life’s a joke then I’m the punchline king Now pass me that weird lookin’ thing
