[Intro — lone mournful Highland bagpipe] [Deep guttural throat singing — low, rhythmic, prominent] [Spoken, deep female voice, completely serious] When I die, please try to show some restraint. [Beat] Actually, no. [Massive war drums, distorted guitars and galloping folk-metal rhythm crash in] [Sharp explosive nonverbal folk vocal cry] [Verse] Don't whisper. Don't play something sweet. Put twelve pipers on the hillside and wake the fucking street. No tasteful little service. No gentle last goodbye. If you're gonna send me off, make some fucking noise when I die. [Deep rhythmic throat singing] [Low growled responses between drum hits] [Sharp wordless folk vocal cries punctuate the rhythm] [Pre-Chorus] One piper? Insufficient. [GROWLED] Six? Disrespectful. [Deep throat-sung drone rising] Twelve? [Sharp explosive nonverbal folk vocal cry] We're getting somewhere. [Chorus — huge, savage, bagpipes answering the vocal] PLAY THE PIPES! Let 'em howl into the night! PLAY THE PIPES! Send me out with everything you've got! Let the drums shake heaven, let the neighbors call the cops! [Galloping instrumental break — screaming Highland pipes, war drums, distorted guitars, jaw harp and aggressive bowed strings] [Prominent rhythmic throat singing] [Growled calls and sharp wordless folk vocal cries punctuate the beat] [Dropout] [Deep guttural growl building into throat singing] [Spoken, deadpan] If anyone says this is excessive... [Silence] add another piper. [Sharp explosive nonverbal folk vocal cry] [ABSURD WALL OF BAGPIPES ERUPTS] [Growled rhythmic calls and throat singing] [Final Chorus — faster, heavier, unhinged] PLAY THE PIPES! Raise the dead and wake the town! PLAY THE PIPES! I am not going quietly down! [Sharp wordless folk vocal cries] [DEEP GROWL] [Overwhelming finale — galloping war drums, screaming bagpipes, distorted guitars, throat singing, growled calls and feral wordless vocal cries] [Spoken, utterly satisfied] I'm dead. I still make the rules. [Final bagpipe shriek] [Hard stop]
