"Jeez it's cold out here, colder with every spell too..." My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are very cooooold! The conjurer of frostbite, breaker of mugs, The Saltcloak sorcerer wrapped in thirty rugs, The slayer of warmth, the freezer of shadows, Colder than cliffs where the white wind bellows! My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are very cooooold! Eyes like icicles ready to stab, A coat no tailor has managed to grab, Master of snow, enemy of spheres, I sneeze and summon twelve frozen years! My-eye hands are very cooooold, My-eye hands are very cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are super cooooold! Through dripping caverns I lead, Through tundras of fae and of troll I lead, In towers of science I lead, My Saltcloak flaps like a frostbitten steed! She who misplaced the key, She who froze the key, She who is the key— Look, don’t judge me, it’s slippery! My-eye hands are super cooooold, My-eye hands are super cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are really cooooold! I have walked with penguins, I have walked alone, Through lifetimes of shivering, My bones have turned to stone! In life I chilled legions of men, In death I will chill them again, For I am one—a popsicle bold, For I am many—so very cold! My-eye hands are really cooooold, My-eye hands are really cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are real, very, super, really cold! "so cold! gah, they won't seem to warm up, aye ya bleh, brr" My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are very cooooold! On Saltcloak ships I frost the rail, Snow on the rigging, ice on the sail, Every ice wall, every spell, colder, Saltcloak crew just ducks for cover! My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are very cooooold! In the dungeons of doom where lanterns dim, I freeze the walls on a whim, Chains go brittle and torches sigh, Frost creeps up to the ceiling high. And when they watch me at the break of day, They mutter soft, “Snowflakes too of the Fae…?” My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are very cooooold! The conjurer of frostbite, breaker of mugs, Saltcloak sorcerer wrapped in thirty rugs, Slayer of warmth, freezer of shadows, Colder than cliffs where the white wind bellows! Eyes like icicles sharpened thin, A coat no tailor has tucked me in, Enemy of heat, friend of the freeze, Footsteps crunch like shattered seas! My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are very cooooold! Through tundras of trolls I stomp and shout, Through Of Faeven frost where the stars blink out, Through caverns dripping with ancient gloom, Through hallways echoing doom-doom-doom. Saltcloak snaps like a frozen plank, Hair is stiff as an armored tank, Breath forms clouds that speak in rhyme, Whispering winter across all time. My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are super cooooold! She who misplaced the key, "or so they say," She who froze the key, She who is the key— Look, don’t judge me, it’s slippery! "So slippery!" In the dungeons of doom I drop the lock, Crew starts yelling around the clock, “Why is everything colder than cold?!” “I… might’ve sneezed.” “WE’RE GETTING FROSTBIT!” My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are really cooooold! I have walked with penguins, "so cute." I have walked alone, "its nice." Through lifetimes of shivering, its fine. My bones have turned to stone! Not ok. I’ve iced a kraken mid-wave mid-roar, Froze every hinge on every door, Stopped a blizzard to take a break, "Sort of… it restarted when I woke." On Saltcloak ships they watch me pass, Leaving frost on rope, deck, mast. Every ice wall, every spell, colder, Mage gets older but winter gets bolder. My-eye hands are real cooooold, My-eye hands are real cooooold, Pass the cocoa, thaw my soul, My-eye hands are real, very, super, really cold! So Cold! "so cold! gah—WHY IS MY DRINK A BRICK AGAIN—aye ya bleh—brrr! ...So dang cold..."
