The Light Was There All Along

It was the best of times, the worst of times, A year I never could have planned, Doors closed without a reason, And doors opened where I'd stand. There were miles of road and oceans crossed, Little hands reaching out for mine, And while I mourned the ones I couldn't hold, Love was with me all the time. For seventeen years I tried to earn their love, To prove that I could belong. But while my bonus kids held me at a distance Other arms embraced me all along. I won't stare at the empty chairs And miss those gathered 'round, I won't let the silence of the ones I miss Drown out the joyful sound. There's still a place inside my heart For every bonus child that's gone, But I've learned that grief and gratitude Can live in the same song. The night was real, the hurt was deep, But morning still would come— And looking back, it's clear to see The Light was there all along. My children saw it from the start From the very beginning they could see, They watched me try so hard to bring Together our two families They never made me prove my worth, They never put up a fuss They just kept leaving on the porch light, Saying, "You'll always have a place here with us. Showing truths we couldn't see— I spent years trying to be chosen By bonus kids who would never, no matter what, choose me. So I won't stare at the empty chairs So I won't stare at the empty chairs And miss those gathered 'round, I won't let the silence of the ones I miss Drown out the joyful sound. There's still a place inside my heart For every bonus grandchild who's gone, But I've learned grief and gratitude Can live in the same song. The night was real, the hurt was deep, But morning still would come— And looking back, it's clear to see The Light was there all along. Rick and I saw mountains painted red and gold, and watched the blue horizon roll, Filled our home with children's laughter, Made new memories for the soul. Every mile became a witness, Every ordinary day a sign: A broken piece can still be missing From a life that's full of Light. I still believe that hearts can soften, I believe that wounds can mend, I leave the things I cannot carry In the hands of God again. I don't know where the story goes, I don't need to know tonight, I only know He walks beside me Through the darkness and the Light. And maybe hope is not returning To the life I knew before, Maybe spring is something growing That has never grown before. So I won't stare at the empty chairs And miss those gathered 'round, I'll listen to the voices that still call me, To the laughter and the sound. I'll save a place inside my heart If someday they come home, But I won't stop living while I'm waiting, I won't miss the love I've known. It was the best of times, the worst of times, Somehow both were true— There was darkness I thought might swallow me, And miracles breaking through. The night was real. The loss was real. But so was every dawn. But all along I knew the darkness Never meant the Light was gone. It was there in every open door, Every journey, every song— No more looking toward the empty chairs... For I know the Light has been there all along. His Light has been there all along.