Verse 1 I am on the floor. The ceiling is too far away. Every breath is work. Heavy. Wet. Slow. I hear footsteps. Then her. My wife drops down beside me like the ground has also betrayed her. Chorus 1 She says, don’t give up. Please don’t give up. I want to tell her I am not giving up. I want to tell her I am still here. But my mouth will not open. Nothing comes. My soul is already packing itself out of this body, quiet, careful, like it does not want to scare her. Verse 2 Her hands are on my face. Too warm. Too alive. She keeps saying my name as if a name could nail a soul back into skin. I look at her. That is all I have left that still works. Looking. And the smallest movement in my neck. Chorus 2 She screams that I should not give up. The sound tears the room in half. It is too late. Not because I stopped loving her. Because the leaving has already started somewhere I cannot call back. I want to say it is okay. I want to say she can let the panic go. I can only nod. Barely. Once. Verse 3 The nod is everything. It means I hear you. It means I love you. It means I am sorry this is the last thing I can give. It means you can stop begging a body that has already begun to empty. She does not accept it. Of course she doesn’t. Love does not accept floors. Love does not accept silence. Bridge If I could spend one more sentence, it would not be brave. It would be: stay after I go. Eat. Sleep in our bed. Say my name without apologizing to the air. I cannot spend that sentence. So I nod again, smaller than the first time, and hope she understands it is not surrender. It is goodbye. Chorus 3 I am on the floor and I am breathing like a door that will not stay open. My wife is screaming don’t give up. I would give her a whole life of not giving up if the soul would listen. It will not. It is already at the edge of me. I want to say it is okay. I want to say I am not angry. I can only nod. And that nod has to carry every word I will never get to finish. Outro Her voice stays. My breath goes. The last thing I do on purpose is look at her and move my head the smallest possible yes. Yes, I heard you. Yes, I love you. Yes— it is okay. Then even that is gone.
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