Guilt In Odd Numbers feat. JUSTJOSH

lo-fi midwest emo × lo-fi math rock; odd meters (7/8, 5/4, 11/8, 13/8); ~156 bpm, clean/jangly interlocked guitars (DADGAD + capo2 chords), bright chorus shimmer + light crunch in chorus; melodic bass that hits beat 6 in 7/8; tight/snappy snare, rim-click verses → full snare choruses; stop-start accents and dynamic drops; glock/piano plinks on chorus handoff; tom-driven bridge (3+3+3+2 feel); final chorus with octave doubles + gang shouts on “I owe” / “too damn long”; emo male vocal; earnest, breathy → strained, no screams, breathy emo female vocal on final verse, duet male + female vocals in Final Chorus; ending on suspended add9; mix: crisp guitars, roomy drums, warm tape glue; mood: guilty, reflective, ‑piano

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I've been incredibly blessed to work with a person I've long admired and learned from on the platform: JUSTJOSH. When the opportunity to collaborate arose, I was thrilled that he was not only willing, but excited to do so. He makes some of the most expressive, poetic, and real music I've ever heard.  Please, if you somehow haven't heard his art, go check it out and show him some love.

Josh's profile - https://suno.com/@justjosh

Josh, thank you for all of the support and love you give me and so many other creators. You're an absolute gem here, and we're beyond blessed to have you.

Now, please enjoy this work from our heart.

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Back porch July, windy corn hissin’
All those signs you sent, yeah, I kept missin’
Mailbox moths, confessional porch light;
My running list of letters I thought I might write.
I kept a ledger of ifs, a heaping mound of almosts,
Trapped on the welcome mat, a poor host at most.
Met your eyes through the screen door, cicadas were screamin’
Waited too long, I felt our fire start freezin’

“Some other time,” thought time was mine to keep;
Yeah, I nickel-dimed your patience, wish I wasn’t so cheap.

Guilt.
It tastes like radiator salt in January air.
You.
I owe you summer days I wasn’t there.
We missed smiles and winks and long nights in shared spaces;
Missed sweater weather; winter entwined in embraces.
I can only blame myself, you waited for me,
God, I hope he makes you happy.

Ma kept the good plates for the news that never came
Pa fixed the same old roof, I stayed the same old shade.
Chalky futures, things I should have attained,
I was a raincloud; I washed it down the drain.
Sorry Ma, Sorry Pa; I hope your hopes for me remain.
I finally got the help I think I need to tame my brain.
Thought I could make you proud by being who I am
It took too long for me to try to be a better man.

Lip-serviced maybes, performative doubt
Guess I didn’t know what utter love was about.

Guilt.
It's the uncertain choir of unproven futures.
Gone.
It’s too damn late to make it up with sutures.
I owe Ma & Pa the faith they invested,
Tend to their garden I’ve too-long neglected.
I gotta be a better son, a better brother;
I hope it ain’t too late to paint the sky in brighter colors.

Too damn long
The metronome says
No more time for old cassettes

I kept our scent in a jacket I outgrew;
Couldn’t stand the thought of breathin’ without you.
I kept your texts, new scripture just for me;
Like the Bible, I avoid them desperately.
Don’t wanna face the facts ‘cause that would mean I’m wrong;
But then, that’s the point of singing painful songs.

Memories buzzing in the air,
Your hands run through my hair,
Getting all wavy, I don’t care,
I disable your notifications,
But it’s not because I’m callous,
It’s because I gotta repair,
It’s not because I can’t stand you,
It’s because I’m fragile,
And life is unfair,
But what’s new, with that, with you,
I can’t help but feel compelled
Towards your lair, (hahah),
The stars coalesce like a big tear, 
Over these cornfields
God's crying for us too dear,
But really baby, 
And if Heaven is real,
I guess I’ll meet you there.

Guilt.
It’s my neighborhood in Hell.
I.
Just want to bid it farewell.
I know this cul-de-sac; I’ve been here all my life;
It holds a rigor mortis edge, balanced on a knife.
But if I never take the leap, I’ll never find another;
Another wondrous sunset, another glowing lover.

I will learn to grow in odd numbers,
I will learn to love in time

I will learn to grow in odd numbers,
I will learn to love in time.

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3792/7500

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I've been incredibly blessed to work with a person I've long admired and learned from on the platform: JUSTJOSH. When the opportunity to collaborate arose, I was thrilled that he was not only willing, but excited to do so. He makes some of the most expressive, poetic, and real music I've ever heard. Please, if you somehow haven't heard his art, go check it out and show him some love. Josh's profile - https://suno.com/@justjosh Josh, thank you for all of the support and love you give me and so many other creators. You're an absolute gem here, and we're beyond blessed to have you. Now, please enjoy this work from our heart. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Back porch July, windy corn hissin’ All those signs you sent, yeah, I kept missin’ Mailbox moths, confessional porch light; My running list of letters I thought I might write. I kept a ledger of ifs, a heaping mound of almosts, Trapped on the welcome mat, a poor host at most. Met your eyes through the screen door, cicadas were screamin’ Waited too long, I felt our fire start freezin’ “Some other time,” thought time was mine to keep; Yeah, I nickel-dimed your patience, wish I wasn’t so cheap. Guilt. It tastes like radiator salt in January air. You. I owe you summer days I wasn’t there. We missed smiles and winks and long nights in shared spaces; Missed sweater weather; winter entwined in embraces. I can only blame myself, you waited for me, God, I hope he makes you happy. Ma kept the good plates for the news that never came Pa fixed the same old roof, I stayed the same old shade. Chalky futures, things I should have attained, I was a raincloud; I washed it down the drain. Sorry Ma, Sorry Pa; I hope your hopes for me remain. I finally got the help I think I need to tame my brain. Thought I could make you proud by being who I am It took too long for me to try to be a better man. Lip-serviced maybes, performative doubt Guess I didn’t know what utter love was about. Guilt. It's the uncertain choir of unproven futures. Gone. It’s too damn late to make it up with sutures. I owe Ma & Pa the faith they invested, Tend to their garden I’ve too-long neglected. I gotta be a better son, a better brother; I hope it ain’t too late to paint the sky in brighter colors. Too damn long The metronome says No more time for old cassettes I kept our scent in a jacket I outgrew; Couldn’t stand the thought of breathin’ without you. I kept your texts, new scripture just for me; Like the Bible, I avoid them desperately. Don’t wanna face the facts ‘cause that would mean I’m wrong; But then, that’s the point of singing painful songs. Memories buzzing in the air, Your hands run through my hair, Getting all wavy, I don’t care, I disable your notifications, But it’s not because I’m callous, It’s because I gotta repair, It’s not because I can’t stand you, It’s because I’m fragile, And life is unfair, But what’s new, with that, with you, I can’t help but feel compelled Towards your lair, (hahah), The stars coalesce like a big tear, Over these cornfields God's crying for us too dear, But really baby, And if Heaven is real, I guess I’ll meet you there. Guilt. It’s my neighborhood in Hell. I. Just want to bid it farewell. I know this cul-de-sac; I’ve been here all my life; It holds a rigor mortis edge, balanced on a knife. But if I never take the leap, I’ll never find another; Another wondrous sunset, another glowing lover. I will learn to grow in odd numbers, I will learn to love in time I will learn to grow in odd numbers, I will learn to love in time. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ © 2025 The Badfatler & JUSTJOSH All rights reserved.

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