Roach Radio

Spoken Verse, SPOKEN, news broadcast, No music, serious, news

[MALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]:
“All of the above and then some! First up, breaking news from the ‘oh-you-gotta-be-fraggin’-kidding-me’ department—turns out Maelstrom just launched their own dating app.”
“Yup, ‘MEAT.ME.’ It’s for people who ‘like their romance raw, violent, and cybernetically enhanced.’ Their slogan? ‘Swipe right to initiate combat.’”
“Look, I ain’t sayin’ it’s a bad idea… but I am sayin’ that anyone who meets up with a date from this app should consider showing up in full combat armor and maybe bring an air support drone.”
“I did some digging—one of the ‘testimonials’ literally says: ‘We met, we fought, he ripped out my optic, I hacked his leg, and now we’re engaged. 10 out of 10.’”
“Ah, Night City romance. Warms my cold, chrome-plated heart.”
“I

[SPOKEN] [No Music]
[music cuts]
[MALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]:
“Alright, chooms, time to open up the lines. First caller, you’re on Roach Radio. What’s glitchin’ in your corner of the city?”

[MALE 2][SPOKEN]
📞 [CALLER 1] [paranoid, whispering]
“Hey uh… I think my neighbor’s a corpo assassin. He leaves every night in a Millitech suit and I keep hearing muffled screaming.”

[FEMALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]:
“Did you try asking him nicely if he’s a secret assassin? Maybe bring over a casserole?”

[MALE 2][SPOKEN]
📞 [CALLER 1] [paranoid, whispering]
“…Are you insane?”

[MALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]:
“Yes, obviously. But look, buddy, best advice? Either move outta the district or start charging him rent for the corpses he’s stashin’ in his tub.”

[MALE 2][SPOKEN]
📞 [CALLER 1] [paranoid, whispering]
“...Good point.” [click]

[FEMALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]:
“Man, I love this city.”

[MALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]:
“Alright, time for some sponsor love, because someone’s gotta pay for my ammo.”

📢 [Overly enthusiastic.]
“Are YOU tired of waking up in an ice bath without your kidneys? Need a little extra oomph in your step? Try Kiroshi’s New Black Market Optics—now with an optional ‘don’t trust your friends’ feature! Use code ‘ROACH’ for a free cybernetic spleen! Limited time offer. We are not responsible if it explodes.”

[FEMALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]:
“Breaking news from Watson: the city’s newest flock of experimental cybernetic pigeons has officially gone rogue.”

[MALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]:
“Why do we keep doing this?”

[FEMALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]:
“Because someone at Biotechnica is very committed to making Night City’s wildlife as hostile as its people.”

[MALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]:
“Okay, but I saw footage—these things are literally dive-bombing pedestrians. One dude tried to shoo them away and they fried his cyberarm with a micro EMP.”

[FEMALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]:
“Ah, nature.”

[MALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]:
“Well, that’s all the time we got before the NCPD traces our signal again. Remember, Night City: stay mean, stay wired, and if you’re gonna commit a crime—make it interesting.”

[FEMALE][SPOKEN]
🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]:
“Yeah, at least give us something to talk about next time. See ya, gutterpunks.”
🎵 (Jingle): “Night City Roach Radio—Survives Everything, Just Like You!”

[SFX: Gunfire, static, radio signal cuts out.]

4153/7500

[SFX: Futuristic radio tuning, static, then a bass-heavy synth jingle. The sounds of gunfire in the background.] 🎵 (Jingle): “Night City Roach Radio—Survives Everything, Just Like You!” “Alright, alright, alright, you gutterpunks, corpo-rats, and cyberpsychos—welcome back to Night City Roach Radio! It’s your host, Max ‘Mad Dog’ Malone, and with me as always is the queen of the scream, the empress of the Net, the reason Arasaka installed extra firewalls—Circuit Sally!” “Awww, Max, that’s sweet. You almost make me feel like I haven’t been flagged by NetWatch three times this week.” “That’s only ‘cause I bribed ‘em with a half-burnt data shard full of blackmail material on their own people. It’s what friends do.” “Touching. So what’s on the menu for today? Street wars? Cyber-rats in the food supply again? The new brain-dance that’s apparently making people think they’re actual dogs?” [MALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]: “All of the above and then some! First up, breaking news from the ‘oh-you-gotta-be-fraggin’-kidding-me’ department—turns out Maelstrom just launched their own dating app.” “Yup, ‘MEAT.ME.’ It’s for people who ‘like their romance raw, violent, and cybernetically enhanced.’ Their slogan? ‘Swipe right to initiate combat.’” “Look, I ain’t sayin’ it’s a bad idea… but I am sayin’ that anyone who meets up with a date from this app should consider showing up in full combat armor and maybe bring an air support drone.” “I did some digging—one of the ‘testimonials’ literally says: ‘We met, we fought, he ripped out my optic, I hacked his leg, and now we’re engaged. 10 out of 10.’” “Ah, Night City romance. Warms my cold, chrome-plated heart.” “I [SPOKEN] [No Music] [music cuts] [MALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]: “Alright, chooms, time to open up the lines. First caller, you’re on Roach Radio. What’s glitchin’ in your corner of the city?” [MALE 2][SPOKEN] 📞 [CALLER 1] [paranoid, whispering] “Hey uh… I think my neighbor’s a corpo assassin. He leaves every night in a Millitech suit and I keep hearing muffled screaming.” [FEMALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]: “Did you try asking him nicely if he’s a secret assassin? Maybe bring over a casserole?” [MALE 2][SPOKEN] 📞 [CALLER 1] [paranoid, whispering] “…Are you insane?” [MALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]: “Yes, obviously. But look, buddy, best advice? Either move outta the district or start charging him rent for the corpses he’s stashin’ in his tub.” [MALE 2][SPOKEN] 📞 [CALLER 1] [paranoid, whispering] “...Good point.” [click] [FEMALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]: “Man, I love this city.” [MALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]: “Alright, time for some sponsor love, because someone’s gotta pay for my ammo.” 📢 [Overly enthusiastic.] “Are YOU tired of waking up in an ice bath without your kidneys? Need a little extra oomph in your step? Try Kiroshi’s New Black Market Optics—now with an optional ‘don’t trust your friends’ feature! Use code ‘ROACH’ for a free cybernetic spleen! Limited time offer. We are not responsible if it explodes.” [FEMALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]: “Breaking news from Watson: the city’s newest flock of experimental cybernetic pigeons has officially gone rogue.” [MALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]: “Why do we keep doing this?” [FEMALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]: “Because someone at Biotechnica is very committed to making Night City’s wildlife as hostile as its people.” [MALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]: “Okay, but I saw footage—these things are literally dive-bombing pedestrians. One dude tried to shoo them away and they fried his cyberarm with a micro EMP.” [FEMALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]: “Ah, nature.” [MALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [MAX “MAD DOG” MALONE]: “Well, that’s all the time we got before the NCPD traces our signal again. Remember, Night City: stay mean, stay wired, and if you’re gonna commit a crime—make it interesting.” [FEMALE][SPOKEN] 🎤 [CIRCUIT SALLY]: “Yeah, at least give us something to talk about next time. See ya, gutterpunks.” 🎵 (Jingle): “Night City Roach Radio—Survives Everything, Just Like You!” [SFX: Gunfire, static, radio signal cuts out.]

0/500