Intro) (Distorted hospital ambiance... the steady, haunting beep-beep-beep of a heart rate monitor) There’s two different wards in the back of my head Filled with the ghosts of the things that were said Landon’s in one, and you’re in the other And I’m the patient who’s starting to smother... (Verse 1) You say you were anxious it would "ruin the bond" While you were busy pushing me into the pond You say you’re in love, but it’s already too late I would’ve said yes, but you made us wait Now you’re with her, and you’re toxic and cold Selling me stories that are already old You’re a manipulator in a "best friend" mask And I’m failing the only survival task. Pre-Chorus) I’ve got two anxiety circles, spinning around Dragging my spirit straight into the ground One is a memory, one is a choice And both of them want to silence my voice I’m risking the attacks, I’m staying in the fire Lying to myself on this electric wire. (Chorus) Welcome to the Permanent ICU Where I’m flatlining over him and over you I’m staying in the danger, I’m breathing the lead While I’m hanging by a tiny, "unbreakable" thread You make me flatline while you say "I love you" But I’m checking the charts and they’re turning me blue I’m in a dark place, and the light’s getting thin This is the ICU I’m living in. (Verse 2) Landon broke me once, then he did it again Said my anxiety was the "end of the pen" The second time he left because I was "too much" Now I’m flatlining under your heavy touch He faked his love, he faked his care Now I’m breathing in your poisonous air I cut him out, but the ghost still remains Running like static through all of my veins. (Pre-Chorus) I’ve got two anxiety circles, spinning around Dragging my spirit straight into the ground One is a memory, one is a choice And both of them want to silence my voice I’m risking the attacks, I’m staying in the fire Lying to myself on this electric wire. (Chorus) Welcome to the Permanent ICU Where I’m flatlining over him and over you I’m staying in the danger, I’m breathing the lead While I’m hanging by a tiny, "unbreakable" thread You make me flatline while you say "I love you" But I’m checking the charts and they’re turning me blue I’m in a dark place, and the light’s getting thin This is the ICU I’m living in. (Verse 3) The "audacity" you have to say it’s too late To hold my heart over the edge of the grate I’m finding a boy who is nothing like him Who won’t let me sink when I’m trying to swim A boy who won’t leave when the panic gets loud Who won’t try to hide me away in a cloud But right now I’m trapped in this sterile room With two toxic circles and a whole lot of gloom. (Bridge) (The heart monitor begins to speed up, sounding frantic) Twenty anxiety attacks waiting in line Because I’m forcing myself to stay where it’s fine? No, it’s not fine—it’s poison, it’s grey I’m risking my life just to hear what you say You’re faking the "bestie," you’re faking the "love" While you’re watching the vultures circling above! Verse 4) The pressure is a weight crushing down on my chest While you’re putting my heartbeat to the ultimate test Every lie you tell is a drop in the line Watching my vitals slowly decline I’m gasping for air in this sterile white room While you’re weaving the silk for my digital tomb The anxiety’s screaming, a high-pitched sound Until the pulse disappears and I can't be found Yeah, I’m flatlining now from the weight of it all Just waiting for someone to catch the fall. Pre-Chorus) I’ve got two anxiety circles, spinning around Dragging my spirit straight into the ground One is a memory, one is a choice And both of them want to silence my voice I’m risking the attacks, I’m staying in the fire Lying to myself on this electric wire. (Chorus) And I’m flatlining now, yeah, the screen’s going straight While you’re at the bedside, sealing my fate It’s the same old ghost, the same old scar He left me three times, now I see who you are The monitor’s screaming, the rhythm is gone You’re the one holding the blade I’m leaning on. (Outro) (The heart monitor slows down... beep... beep... beep...) I’m in the permanent ICU... But I’m looking for the exit, away from you I’m done with the faking, I’m done with the lies I’m closing my heart and I’m closing my eyes... (Flatline tone... long and steady) Checked out. (Silence)
