That’s Nice… I’m the bastard in pajamas drinkin’ cough syrup floats, tryin’ to sext your mom while your dad takes notes. Flirt with flight attendants just to crash the jet quicker, fingerbang your sister with a Super Soaker trigger. Smuggle porn in a Bible, throw the your whole family in a river, lick stamps with anthrax, and sent to deliver, Jack The Ripper extractin’ Flipper’s liver. Got a stripper in my kitchen wearin’ oven mitts, Micky D’s nuts, a billion served, absurd with the words, they lovin’ it. Shoelace… Yo This girl I like is a psycho, wanted plastic surgery and lipo, fine as hell, can’t spell, she got typos. Trying to be more emo. I like being single, go to funerals to mingle, while hiding my dick in a can of Pringles. Looking for a haystack to bury my needle, adopt a Vietnamese kid, I named him Neal. Teach him to deal poker with Al Roker, that plays mediocre while hangin’ at a public pool with a super soaker. Five chicks and a boner, knock ’em out their loafers, slower than ten stoners collecting on a loner. Taking acid with molasses mixed with nitric gases, while hanging with Judge Mathis & John the Baptist. That’s Nice… I throw dice at a wedding, bet the bride’s tits pop, while the groom’s outside givin’ side hand jobs. I’m the drunk at the park screamin’ “Santa ain’t shit,” while your grandpa wears his pants pulled up to his man tits. Shoelace startin’ brawls with Steven Seagal, I’m outside spray-paintin’ “fuck you” on the neighbor’s wall. Slam dance naked at your favorite auntie’s wedding, don’t mess with me. Spike the punch-bowl with a whole vial of L-S-D and a whole vial of ecstasy. Shoelace…. Snapped into a Slim Jim, like Macho Man Savage, changed my status to “I always make it happen.” Adopted by Chinese parents who supported me rappin’, but died and left me a parrot and five carrots, filled with laxatives. Who OD’ed on a belly of additives, fuck your pronouns and adjectives. “I had it kids!” now I’m sounding like how my parents did. Go ahead, identify as the Karate Kid high on acid, wearin’ a Zeppelin shirt with holes in it, tragic. That’s Nice… I’m singing Do Wop with Hanson while watchin tits flop Dirty Dancin’ with Christy Canyon. I’m handsome sportin’ a hair helmet like Ted Danson. Shoelace… Yo, I bought a mansion, invited Marilyn Manson, to perform on top the cabinets while coke had ‘em dancin’. That’s Nice… Yo, I got a dick like a rope hidden in a trench coat servin’ dope on a roach coach, makin’ ‘em choke on tainted Ho Ho’s laced with No-Doze. Shoelace… We the bro’s with rotisserie’s on your hoes, Shoelace & That’s Nice, two lunatics with no souls and the sickest flows.
