Mayday Bidet

[Verse] Inferno of filth A war I’ve waged A battlefield of shame My soul encaged But lo A savior A porcelain knight Water’s wrath A cleansing delight [Verse 2] Torrential truth A storm of grace A cannon of purity Annihilates disgrace No longer a slave to paper’s cruel reign The fountain of freedom It cleans my chili ring [Chorus] Rivers of redemption Blast away my sin A tidal purge Let the flood begin Baptized in the spray My throne now divine The bidet My savior Its glory is mine! [Instrumental break] [Breakdown] BLERRRGH!! Gas station burritos were not the best choice Painted the bowl with a massive force So now I'm left with this muddy scene Need a Jetstream to blast my cornhole clean! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! [Bridge] Oh The irony The throne I scorned Now a palace where my soul is reborn A king’s baptism Spray my hole royally Wash away my shame Set my spirit free! [Chorus] Rivers of redemption Blast away my sin A tidal purge Let the flood begin Baptized in the spray My throne now divine The bidet My savior Its glory is mine! [Breakdown] [Outro] No longer a savage Using Charmin is lame The jetstream’s embrace has staked its claim No more dookie fingers After the paper rips The bidet has risen My clean butthole thanks it [Chorus] Rivers of redemption Blast away my sin A tidal purge Let the flood begin Baptized in the spray My throne now divine The bidet My savior Its glory is mine!