[Musical Intro – jaunty piano and acoustic guitar, with sudden loud timpani crash] [Verse 1 – mock-cheerful crooning ] Brian was a scholar with a gleam in his eye, He studied anatomy, never asked why, He tinkered in the cellar with a skull on a stand, Said, “I’ll fix your thinking with a tap of my hand!” [Chorus – audience clap along, out of sync] Bang bang, the Brainhammer falls, Echoes in the lecture halls, Bang bang, it’s terribly grand, The Brainhammer’s coming down by demand! [Musical Break – slide whistle, ominous gong hit] [Verse 2 – cartoon sinister crooner] He danced in the parlor with a bone for a cane, Reciting equations that rattled the brain, The neighbors complained of the knocks in the night, But Brian just smiled, said “It’s working all right!” [Chorus – cheerfully grotesque] Bang bang, the Brainhammer falls, Scribbled on the music walls, Bang bang, it’s terribly strange, Your thoughts rearranged in a terrible change! [Bridge – moog synth, ] Oh, the mind’s a fragile egg, Balanced on a wobbly leg, One wrong tap and it all goes slack, You’ll never get your thinking back! [Musical Interlude – kazoo solo with timpani rolls and honky-tonk piano stabs] [Final Chorus – shouted like a music hall refrain] Bang bang, the Brainhammer rings, Striking all the fragile things, (do do do da) Bang bang, a vaudeville crime, The Brainhammer’s pounding out of time! [Outro – sudden quiet, single plink of a toy piano, followed by a loud cymbal crash]
