[verse 1] Who left a chainsaw in the aquarium? The goldfish won't stop making demands. There's a smoke detector in the dressing room Trying to read my palms with its red little hands. Your lawyer called my blender at midnight, Now they're both screaming in B-flat. I found your note inside a traffic light, Real cute, but we're way past that. [pre-chorus] Don't look at me like I started this, I was busy teaching thunder how to hiss. [chorus] Whoa-oh, your lizard's on fire again, Running laps through the county fair. Whoa-oh, and the moon quit paying rent, Now it's sleeping in my electric chair. You said, "Trust me, it'll all make sense," Yeah? That's what the haunted fax machine said. So if the ceiling starts taking offense, Tell it I already left it on read. [verse 2] The waitress keeps serving existential dread, Comes with fries and a side of blame. There's a taxidermied angel over my bed Who keeps forgetting my middle name. You swore the submarine was house-trained, Then it bit a hole in the floor. Now the neighbors are surfing through my hallway And asking what we're arguing for. [pre-chorus] Funny thing is, I almost cared, Till the chandelier started growing hair. [chorus] Whoa-oh, your lizard's on fire again, Running laps through the county fair. Whoa-oh, and the moon quit paying rent, Now it's sleeping in my electric chair. You said, "Trust me, it'll all make sense," Yeah? That's what the haunted fax machine said. So if the ceiling starts taking offense, Tell it I already left it on read. [bridge] Wait, Why's the raccoon got a master key? Why's the elevator learning my secrets? Who signed the octopus up for HR? And why's it winning every meeting? Oh, never mind, The carpet's breathing again. [final chorus] Whoa-oh, your lizard's on fire again, And honestly, that's not the weirdest thing. Whoa-oh, somebody stole the afternoon, Wrapped it up with a piece of string. You said, "Trust me, it'll all make sense," But the exit sign just winked and fled. So if anybody asks what happened here, Tell 'em we got bored and reality bled. [end]
