If I were a Dad

🎵 „If I Were a Dad“ – fröhlich, ironisch, feministisch Verse 1 If I were a dad, oh what a pretty little deal, I’d get a standing ovation just for showing how I feel. One diaper in a decade and they crown me „Superman“, while she’s surviving childbirth with a smile no one understands. Pre-Chorus Oh, I’d be „so involved“ for fifteen minutes straight, then take a break forever — ’cause hey, I did something great! Chorus If I were a dad, I’d be the hero of the day, Just breathing near the baby makes the world scream „Yay!“ I’d never push a human out — no stitches, tears, or pain, Just show up when it’s easy and walk off when it rains. If I were a dad, I’d get a prize for being tired, „You’re such a family man!“ — though nobody hired me. And when mother and child get sick, guess who suddenly feels bad? Yeah, I’d be lying on the sofa, ’cause that’s the magic trick of dads. ⸻ Verse 2 If I were a dad, I’d make confusion look cute, „He’s trying his best!“ — and that’s the whole excuse. Lose a sock, forget the lunchbox, drop the kid at the wrong class, Everybody laughs and claps — but she’d be judged so fast. Pre-Chorus 2 I’d post a selfie holding baby once a month or two, with the caption: „Daddy duty 💪“ — and the internet melts through. Chorus If I were a dad, I’d be the saint of doing less, People call it „helping“, when it’s basic kindness, yes. No hormones, sleepless torture, no career derailed or crashed — Just showing up occasionally and still feeling overmatched.