[Verse 1] You dress for the reviewers, you rehearse the offhand line You crop the photo forty times so nothing looks designed You enter every room half-sure that everybody's keeping score The general public's watching, and you're playing to the door [Chorus] But the general public isn't there, nobody bought a seat The house you've been performing to is dark and cold and neat There's no one in the balcony, there's no one keeping notes You've been sweating for a jury that got up and left their coats The general public, and they never even showed [Verse 2] The truth is everybody's busy staring at their own reviews Rehearsing their own entrance, cropping their own afternoon Nobody's got the bandwidth to be watching you that close They're the star of their own worry, and you're background, at the most [Chorus] But the general public isn't there, nobody bought a seat The house you've been performing to is dark and cold and neat There's no one in the balcony, there's no one keeping notes You've been sweating for a jury that got up and left their coats The general public, and they never even showed [Bridge] And that's not sad, that's the best news that you'll get all year The pressure was a phantom and the phantom isn't here You can wear the ugly jacket, you can post the goofy face Nobody's in the audience, so go on, take the place [Final Chorus] 'Cause the general public isn't there, nobody bought a seat The house you were performing to was empty the whole week There's no one in the balcony, there's no one keeping notes So quit the show you're putting on for people in their coats The general public, and you're finally off the hook The general public, and you get your whole life back
