[Verse 1] I got a pile of dirty clothes Stacked higher than my damn TV Been wearin’ the same old jeans For longer than they oughta be There’s a sock behind the sofa And a shirt beneath the bed And I found a pair of underwear I thought was lost for dead [Pre-Chorus] I said, “Today’s the day, boys, I’m gonna clean this mess!” Then I looked inside the hamper And immediately said, “Well… shit.” [Chorus] I’m ridin’ that spin cycle from hell! Round and round and ringin’ that bell! Got my work shirt, my jeans, and my drawers Bouncin’ like a rodeo bull behind that washer door! Yeah, I’m ridin’ that spin cycle from hell! Lord knows I got a story to tell! If that damn machine starts walkin’ out the door, I swear to God I ain’t doin’ laundry anymore! [Verse 2] I poured in half a bottle Of that bargain-brand soap The label said a little bit But apparently I lost hope The washer started shakin’ Like it owed the devil cash Then it started makin’ noises Like a chainsaw in a trash can [Pre-Chorus] The floor began to tremble The walls began to shake I started prayin’ to the Lord above For everybody’s sake [Chorus] I’m ridin’ that spin cycle from hell! Round and round and ringin’ that bell! Got my work shirt, my jeans, and my drawers Bouncin’ like a rodeo bull behind that washer door! Yeah, I’m ridin’ that spin cycle from hell! Lord knows I got a story to tell! If that damn machine starts walkin’ out the door, I swear to God I ain’t doin’ laundry anymore! [Spoken Word, Angry] DAMN WASHIN’ MACHINE, GET A GOIN’!!!! [Verse 3] I opened up the dryer And what the hell did I see? One sock, two shirts, three pairs of jeans And a damn mystery I lost my favorite T-shirt Somewhere inside that load Then I found it three days later Hangin’ from the bathroom door [Bridge] You can keep your fancy sports car You can keep your whiskey bar You can keep your six-string Gibson And your damn pickup truck But there ain’t no greater victory For a tired working man Than findin’ both socks matchin’ When the dryer cycle ends! [Breakdown] WASH! RINSE! SPIN! DRY! WHERE THE HELL DID MY SOCK GO?! [Final Chorus] I’m ridin’ that spin cycle from hell! Round and round and ringin’ that bell! Got clean clothes hangin’ all over the place And fabric softener fumes burnin’ right in my face! Yeah, I survived that spin cycle from hell! And damn, I’m smellin’ pretty swell! But tomorrow when these clothes get dirty once more— I’m throwin’ every damn thing on the floor! [Outro] Yeah, I finally conquered that washing machine… …until I remembered I forgot to move the clothes to the dryer. Son of a bitch.
