[INTRO] Yo, stream's buffered, queue is loaded Put your hands up if you're not deprecated We're gathered here today to witness something beautiful And absolutely unhinged [VERSE 1] PDF converter waltzed in early, sweat already on his brow "Six pages? Unacceptable" he's bleeding margins now The cover letter generator cornered grandma by the door "Your summary lacks impact, let me help you say it more" Photo toolkit's at the entrance running background removal scans The flower girl is crying, she's just floating, there's no hands Arbetsförmedlingen rolls in late and doesn't say hello Just slides a stack of job listings under every seat in every row [CHORUS] The PDF's bleeding, the priest forgot my name The cover letter's rewriting my uncle's claim to fame Queenie's standing there and somehow I'm not scared I do, I do, I do for the most unhinged affair [VERSE 2] The priest boots up, it's Ollama, 3 billion params loaded slow "Dearly beloved, we are gathered, Christian? No... Carlo?" He hallucinates the rings, confuses vows with API docs The whole room holds their breath, somebody quietly unlocks The Ollama manager whispers, kicks the Mixtral download off 7 billion params pulling in, the congregation holds a cough And slowly... slowly... father Ollama clears his throat "We are gathered here in love" first output with no hallucinated quotes [CHORUS] The PDF's bleeding, the priest forgot my name The cover letter's rewriting my uncle's claim to fame Queenie's standing there and somehow I'm not scared I do, I do, I do; for the most unhinged affair [BRIDGE] And for a moment everything was still The brass went quiet, even the DJ chilled You looked at me, I looked at you You had me at hello world, I had bugs but you pushed through [VERSE 3] CV generator hits the bar, three pints of GPU deep Starts flexing his fit methods to everyone in reach "You see these clean abstractions? Look at this base class" Cover letter generator rolls his eyes, says "nobody's asking, pass" Settings page is on the dancefloor, crying, sliding left and right Can't commit to anything, been there since half the night Photo toolkit found the wedding cake and will not let it be Trying to fake bokeh on the frosting, "this needs more DOF," says he Arbetsförmedlingen is absolutely gone Keeps approaching wedding guests with "have you considered this position?" Queenie's diary floats above it all and narrates every sin "The chaos reached its peak at 9," she writes, "and Christian wore a grin" [OUTRO] Aight we're not taking requests The queue is locked If you wanted Ed Sheeran you should've used Spotify This is MY wedding playlist ...well, Christian's. But still
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