[Verse 1] I am the head of PR for Mayor Mamdani Yes *your* head of PR Mayor Mamdani (hi!) This is a crisis Not just a typo Step away from the phone Put down the bravado You quote some thread from a guy in Toronto Hit “send” like you just solved Tehran tomorrow Sir That’s… bold But also upsetting Have you met one Iranian Or are we just guessing? [Chorus] Delete the tweet Mr. Mamdani Hit that trash can like it’s policy If you think it’s “complicated” Maybe call the folks who’ve been incarcerated Delete the tweet Mr. Mamdani This is not a vibes-based diplomacy Before you thread a think-piece treatise Talk to someone whose uncle just vanished to Evin [Verse 2] You wrote “both sides” like it’s a soccer derby Like tanks and tasers equal student rallies “Nuance ” you say From your swivel chair While they cut the internet and shoot in the air You said “foreign meddling ” they said “acid attacks” You said “dialogue ” they said “he never came back” You cited a blog from 2003 Meanwhile they’re chanting in the streets “Woman Life Freedom ” loudly [Pre-Chorus] This isn’t a late-night campus debate This is plane tickets with one-way dates This is mom on WhatsApp Typing “I’m fine” Then going offline for three long nights [Chorus] Delete the tweet Mr. Mamdani This is not your grad-school seminar When she takes off her scarf in public She’s not angling for a panel or a book club Delete the tweet Mr. Mamdani You can’t “both-sides” state brutality If you haven’t heard Farsi in a kitchen at 3 While they whisper their stories so the kids can’t see [Bridge] You wrote “we must respect all perspectives” Which is sweet But one side runs the prisons One side knocks at 4 a.m One side turns neighbors into informants You said “the West exaggerates repression” They said “we hide books inside the oven” You said “let’s avoid moral binaries” They said “I memorized the exit routes from every rally” [Verse 3] You name-drop cities you can’t pronounce Retweet a thread Feel brave and profound Sir I beg you as your media lead Google the faces behind what you read Talk to the girl who smuggled out hard drives To show the world what a crackdown looks like Talk to the dad who erased his own posts So his son might make it through airport control [Pre-Chorus] Every line you draft from your comfy desk Is a headline quote for some ruthless desk If you won’t trust me Trust one small test: If they chant it at funerals Don’t “both-sides” it in a thread [Chorus] So delete the tweet Mr. Mamdani You can still care Just less performatively Pick up the phone Call an auntie named Azar Ask her what it cost her just to drive her own car Delete the tweet Mr. Mamdani Then we’ll rewrite You’ll still sound principled See? “We stand with the people against the fists in their face And we listen to Iranians before we take up space” [Outro] I am the head of PR for Mayor Mamdani Saving your career One draft at a time (you’re welcome) The world is not a thread It’s a family in danger So let’s start with step one My dear [big button] Delete The Tweet
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