[Intro] One little Stoner, dreaming in his bed... Two little Stoners, sleeping like the dead... Three little Stoners, safe tonight... [Cat] Oh, this is going to be a wonderful night. [Verse 1] Sandro's in his favourite chair, Blowing smoke into the air, Dreaming of a kingdom green, The finest weed he's ever seen. But the smoke begins to twist, Golden eyes appear in mist, Ten black claws scrape down the wall— [Cat] Oh, Sandro! Missed this Cat at all? [Verse 1] All his zombies turn around, Dragging footsteps on the ground, Cat just watches, grinning wide— Look! Your friends have picked a side! They grab his ankles, drag him down, His green hair barely clears the ground! “YOU FUCKERS! LET ME GO!” Cat laughs and steals his final smoke. Ten black claws flash through the haze, A bloody end to greener days! [Cat] Well! That was fun. Who's next? [Chorus] SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE STONERS! This Cat's coming for you! SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE STONERS! There's nothing you can do! Run through the shadows! Scream through the night! Ten long claws and a mouthful of teeth— YOU'D BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! [Verse 2] Sunan stands beneath the sun, The chosen, holy, shining one, Crowds are cheering, trumpets play, Sune's great hero saves the day! Then the trumpets choke and die, Every smiling face goes dry, One slow clap behind the throne, And Sunan finds himself alone. [Cat] Bravo! Bravo! What a show! Such a shame you've nowhere to go! [Verse 2] Sunan draws his mighty bow, Fires where the shadows grow, But Cat's behind him, grinning wide— Where's your goddess? Run and hide! [Slasher break] A golden light splits through the sky, Sunan lifts his arms on high! “My goddess! You've come back for me!” [Cat] SURPRISE! IT'S ONLY ME! The heavens crack, the angels scream, Cat tears right through his holy dream! Ten black claws come crashing down, And Cat walks off wearing his crown! [Cat] This Cat makes a lovely god. [Chorus] SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE STONERS! This Cat's coming for you! SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE STONERS! There's nothing you can do! Run through the shadows! Scream through the night! Ten long claws and a mouthful of teeth— YOU'D BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! [Bridge] Jimmy stands before the mirror, Dark curls framing his pretty face, Tilts his chin and parts his lips, Every feature in its place. Straightens up his collar neat, Checks his look, adjusts his sleeves, Till another grin appears Where his reflection ought to be. [Cat] Boo. [Jimmy] You look like shit, Cat. [Silence] [Cat] And you look so pretty, Jimmy. Such a pretty little face, Such a terrible thing to waste, Those lovely eyes, that perfect skin, This Cat could almost envy him. Jimmy backs away from the glass, But Cat's reflection follows fast, Ten long claws come curling through, As the mirror splits in two! [Slasher finale] The claws come bursting through the glass! Jimmy tries to stumble back! Cat catches him with wicked glee, And steals the face he loves to see! A thousand mirrors split apart, A thousand tigers laugh in the dark! One final scream, one vicious tear— [Dead silence] Now who's the pretty one? [Final chorus] SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE STONERS! This Cat's coming for you! SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE STONERS! There's nothing you can do! Sandro's dead and Sunan's gone! Jimmy won't be waking at dawn! Three little Stoners, tucked in tight— THIS CAT HAD A LOVELY NIGHT! [Outro] One little Stoner... Two little Stoners... Three little Stoners... Not a sound. Not a breath. [Cat] Well! That was fun. Same time tomorrow?
