# DEAD INSIDE, STILL ALIVE ### [INTRO] *Heartbeat. Distant guitar feedback. Slow breathing.* They tell you surviving means you're strong... But nobody asks what happens... When you survive so much... You stop feeling anything. *Heavy riff drops.* Yeah. --- ### [VERSE 1] I wake up every morning with a weight on my chest, Put my feet on the floor, put the pain to the test, Put a smile on my face, tell 'em all I'm okay, Then I spend another night trying to get through the day. I got nothing in my eyes, but there's fire underneath, Got a mouth full of words that I'm afraid to release, Everybody sees a man, but there's a kid underneath, Still wondering why the people that he loved had to leave. I've been running on empty, but I never pull over, Keep the pedal to the floor till the engine blows over, Everybody says I'm strong, but I'm barely holding composure, I'm just good at hiding damage underneath the composure. I don't cry like I used to, I don't smile like before, I don't feel the same rush when I walk through the door, I've been staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what for, 'Cause I'm breathing every day, but I'm not living anymore. --- ### [PRE-CHORUS] *Melodic* Can you hear me? I'm screaming without making a sound... Can you see me? I'm standing here but I'm not around... --- ### [CHORUS] **I'M DEAD INSIDE, STILL ALIVE!** Got a heartbeat but I don't feel alive, I've been walking through the fire just to make it outside, Now the flames don't even hurt me, I've been burned too many times. **I'M DEAD INSIDE, STILL ALIVE!** Tell me why I gotta lose myself to survive? If this is what it means to make it through the night, Then I'd rather feel the pain than feel nothing inside. --- ### [VERSE 2] *Groove-metal riff + tight technical rap* I've been emotionally unavailable, barely containable, Pain in the brain making everything feel intangible, Living in a state that's completely unexplainable, Smiling for the people while internally I'm breakable. I'm tired of pretending that I'm perfectly stable, Putting all my problems on the back of the table, Then I'm shocked when the pressure makes me snap at the people That I love, when the truth is I'm just scared that they leave too. I got abandonment issues embedded in my behavior, Every favor feels temporary, every promise needs a waiver, Every "I love you" sounds like something with an expiration, So I sabotage the connection just to beat separation. That's fucked up. I know. But knowing doesn't magically undo it. You can recognize the damage And still struggle to get through it. I've been fighting with myself Like there's somebody I gotta beat, But every time I win the battle There's another fucking piece of me That disappears underneath. --- ### [CHORUS] **I'M DEAD INSIDE, STILL ALIVE!** Got a heartbeat but I don't feel alive, I've been walking through the fire just to make it outside, Now the flames don't even hurt me, I've been burned too many times. **I'M DEAD INSIDE, STILL ALIVE!** Tell me why I gotta lose myself to survive? If this is what it means to make it through the night, Then I'd rather feel the pain than feel nothing inside. --- ### [BRIDGE] *Everything drops to clean guitar.* I miss the person I was... Before I learned how to hide. Before every goodbye Started feeling like a warning. Before every "I love you" Came with fear attached. I don't wanna be numb. *Guitar begins building.* I WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING! --- ### [VERSE 3] *Aggressive double-time delivery* I want the pain, give me everything, Let it rain, let it penetrate, Let the memories resonate, Let 'em demonstrate the mess they made. I spent years trying to suffocate Every emotion I couldn't regulate, Now I'm finally letting all of it escape, Even if it fucking devastates. 'Cause I'm sick of being vacant, Sick of feeling like a patient, Sick of staring at the ceiling While my life is on a playlist. I don't wanna just exist, I don't wanna just persist, I don't wanna tell my daughter That her father never lived. So I'm taking every fracture, Every failure, every fear, Every person that I lost, Every fucking wasted year, And I'm dragging it behind me Till the weight becomes my strength, If I gotta carry all this darkness, Then I'll carry it till the end. --- ### [BREAKDOWN] *Silence.* **YOU THINK I'M DEAD?!** *BOOM.* **I'M STILL BREATHING!** *BOOM.* **YOU THINK I'M BROKEN?!** *BOOM.* **I'M STILL FUCKING BLEEDING!** *BOOM.* **YOU THINK I'M EMPTY?!** *Guitars stop.* **THEN WATCH ME FILL THE VOID!** *Massive breakdown.* **I'M DEAD INSIDE!** **BUT I'M STILL ALIVE!** **STILL ALIVE!** **STILL ALIVE!** --- ### [FINAL CHORUS] **I'M DEAD INSIDE, STILL ALIVE!** But maybe there's a part of me I haven't left behind, Maybe underneath the ashes there's a spark I can ignite, Maybe feeling all this pain means there's still something inside. **I'M DEAD INSIDE, STILL ALIVE!**
