[Intro] [Record scratch] Yeah… Some people hunt for treasure… Some people chase their dreams… I spend my time fondling the bloated, pulsating underbelly of reality. [Verse 1] Tuesday morning, nursing a chemical hangover Saw a rusted shopping cart tipped over Found a lawn chair hanging from a pine Looking like a crackhead’s vision of divine One boot, crusty, smelling like a foot Next to a microwave, deep-fried in soot A plastic flamingo, missing one eye Looking more horny than a frat guy [Chorus] Trash! The vile shit I find while I’m high Trash! Like a dumpster’s wet, necrophiliac cry Trash! Every corner holds a brand-new stain Like a garbage bag filled with a toddler’s brain [Breakdown / Drop 1] (DJ scratch) What the fuck is that? Why is it leaking? Who the hell dumped this? It’s definitely reeking! [Verse 2] Found a mannequin dressed like a queen Holding a bike dildo that looked pretty mean A toaster signed “Suck it, Dave” Next to a cooler that nobody could save A garden gnome with a painted-on bush Guarding three bags of entrails and mush A VHS tape marked “STRICTLY BONE” I watched it twice while I was all alone [Chorus] Trash! The disgusting shit I find in the street Trash! Like a skid-mark stained on a velvet seat Trash! Every alley is a biohazard display Like the universe puked its breakfast away [Breakdown / Drop 2] (Heavy scratches) Found and lost? More like found and fucking mossed! [Interlude] I once found a couch in the middle of a literal desert… No house. No road. Just a crusty beige loveseat with a used condom tucked in the cushions. I have so many questions, and I’m pretty sure the answer is chlamydia. [Verse 3] Found a rubber duck wearing nipple clamps Leaning against a pile of broken lamps A birthday banner from twenty years ago Still damp from the local hobo’s overflow A fake gold trophy that said “Best Anal” Honestly, I’d take that to a funeral Then I saw a sign that simply read: “Don’t feed Steve.” Who the fuck is Steve? [Chorus] Trash! The god-awful shit that I find Trash! Like a lobotomy for the entire mankind Trash! Every object’s got a secret crime It’s ugly, it’s nasty, it’s a waste of my time [Breakdown / Drop 3] (DJ scratch solo) Trash! Trash! Trash! Nobody knows who left this steaming pile! [Bridge] Maybe we’re all just random filth Stacked together in a giant, throbbing pile Trying to look important enough Before we decompose in style Or maybe somebody just dropped a bathtub Filled with glitter and human regret in the field again… [Outro] So if you see me staring at a pile of sewage Like it’s a fucking museum exhibit I’m not judging… I’m just masturbating to the aesthetics. [Record scratch] And Steve… If you’re out there reading this… Stop eating the goddamn signs, you degenerate prick.
