Are you worth my time

2025.06.25 Are you worth of my time Do others value you Have they let you go The question The only thing Is Do you value Appreciate Recognize And Love yourself When I was Broken up with Three times Laid off twice Divorced once When you’ve Been divorced You say to those Who have also been Congratulations! Rather than I’m sorry Do happy People Get divorced Stay together Get another job It’s hard to see The pain As an opportunity To find In yourself What do I value What brings me joy When I’m in shock When I’m sad Crying in despair What got me through Were others Being strong for My daughters My therapist My friends Sometimes My medications Which sometimes Do more harm Than make me Feel better Whereas When laughing Talking And eating with Your loved ones The people who Love and support you Is all I needed Which is where I Am grateful Which gave me The words The experiences That I write about And make my Heart hurt That make me want to Reach out to you I’m scared After I share did I share too much Do you judge me Only if you’ve Never suffered Never felt The feelings I am writing about To hopefully Comfort you To give you strength To show you Hope When I was Unemployed Twice For about seven Months Each time The first time I didn’t realize The pain The suffering It caused To Others Who I supported Who only cared About this affected them Saying that Incorrectly Being misdiagnosed Twice When my first doctor Said there was nothing Wrong with me Which led to an emergency The second Was young Diligent Didn’t know That his meds Triggered Suicidal Thoughts Strange feelings It became an emergency Not knowing Are these thoughts Side effects What I need to stop Stop taking something That makes me feel worse I found the best psychiatrist At Kaiser Referred by another After a few minutes He diagnosed me With Bipolar I didn’t know What that word Meant How that affected me Throughout My life Until I learned more My life Began to make sense Others with bipolar Make sense We go through Live separately And yet Understand Each other Sharing are stories Bringing insights Support Would I have Ever Found my people Without Suffering alone Do we ever suffer Alone Because We only Hear you When you Speak up Shout Sing Tell me more There is No time limit If we love Each other When we no longer Care Then is that When we can No longer Help each other Stand each other Talk or look At with Each other Where Sleeping makes Us feel worse When the nightmares Blur Together With when we Wake up Are we zombies Are others monsters Are we hero’s Fighting Evil Overcoming Adversity I’m rooting For you Come on One step at a time Get up Get up Shout! Scream! Cry Let it out Even though We are all human This is a test For you To find your Superpower When you are Beaten down Hopeless the only path Is up Get out Of that hole One Foot Jump At a time Sometimes We just need A hand To pull Us up To be In that hole Pushing you up So you Can Will Give your hand Reaching out To each other Helping Each other Loving each other That experience Has bonded you Together Because You saved Each other From dying alone In the dark Even when we Close our eyes And fall asleep Our dreams Our nightmares Tell our brains Our bodies We are not alone I wonder When I no longer Wake up Can no longer See Will I be afraid Will eye Rely on What I can hear What I can touch When what I eat Tastes Is something I savor Because as I lose each When I no longer Hear Others I’m alone I don’t hear You Unless you look me in the eyes Touch my shoulder Because I can’t hear You shout Or speak softly I just want you To hold Me because I feel Alone Scared Isolated Looking at my phone Falling in a pit of videos With the volume So high They others can hear In a different room Am I calling out For you to come And tell me to Lower The volume To be quiet An irony Because I cannot hear And now you Are telling me To be quiet I can no longer Hear the wind The water The birds chirping My music My songs Only read the poems I’ve written And remember My thoughts And feelings To be read to To be read aloud I’m here to hear You while I am able I give you the only Gift we all have Even when we have nothing My time My love My kindness Everything that really matters Time to get to work Talk to you later Thank you god I appreciate it I appreciate you I pray for you Let me know when you want to talk to me again. Amen