[Intro] [Long Intro] [Verse 1] He walks in with pickle juice in a cup, Eldredge knot tie, shoes all worn, Tells the kids how to behave, While he's been late since he was born He waves his hands, gives a lesson On morality and fame, But the only thing he’s really teaching Is how to cheat the game. [Chorus] Substitute role model! Yes, we’re learning from the wrong! Substitute role model! Still, somehow, we follow along! [Verse 2] He preaches health with a donut in his hand, Says, “Be honest, be meek, just sit, don’t stand!” His cat watches, unimpressed, While he forgets what he just confessed. They break the rules, they burn the books, They smile for cameras, wink, and look, But the kids all know deep inside, Sometimes the teacher takes them for a ride. [Chorus] Substitute role model! Yes, we’re learning from the wrong! Substitute role model! Still, somehow, we follow along! [Bridge] Raise your eyes, raise your fists, Question everything that you’ve missed, They’re human too, they’re off their guard, Even role models can be bizarre. [Long Solo] [Verse 3] So we cheer when he stumbles, laugh when he falls, He never says anything useful, we just ignore it all, Life is messy, life is wild, But at least the nonsense makes you smile. [Chorus] Substitute role model! Yes, we’re learning from the wrong! Substitute role model! Still, somehow, we follow along! Substitute role model! Everybody play along! [Outro] [End Song] [End]
