[Intro – organ + spoken] Brothers and sisters of the Holy Slice… we are gathered here tonight… to protect the dough from corruption. No fruit on the altar. No sweetness on the crust. Can I get an amen? [Verse 1 – Pizza Church] Stone chapel, neon cross, saint Margherita on the wall, wooden benches full of sinners, waiting for the cheese to fall. Priest in white with red tomato, sauce like blood upon his stole, slams his fist against the pulpit, fire burning in his soul. “Only pure and sacred toppings, meat and veggies, salt and heat, keep the fruit where it belongs – in a bowl, not on the wheat. Look upon this cursed example, heretic and sticky crime,” points at pizza on the plaster, Hawaiian nailed there for all time. [Pre-Chorus – Anti] “Keep your faith inside the oven, keep it savoury and strong, those who sprinkle fruit on pizza won’t be welcome in this song.” [Chorus 1 – Anti] PIZZA DROP – LET THE SAUCE HIT HARD, MARGHERITA, DIAVOLA, SOLDIERS OF THE YARD. PIZZA DROP – MEAT AND VEGGIES ONLY, CAPRICCIOSA, NAPOLI, KEEP THE DOCTRINE HOLY. PIZZA DROP – ONE RULE IN THE SHOP, NO SWEET RINGS UPON THE TOP. PIZZA DROP – WHEN THE OVEN’S HOT, PINEAPPLE IS THE ENEMY, LET THAT SIN JUST ROT. [Post-Chorus – chant] NO PINEAPPLE – ON MY SLICE! KEEP YOUR FRUIT – OFF MY PARADISE! NO BANANAS – ON THIS BREAD! FRUIT BELONGS – IN BOWLS INSTEAD! [Verse 2 – Fruit Girl enters] Then the heavy doors swing open, every head begins to turn, heels on marble, hips in motion, air itself forgets to burn. Young and glowing, eyes like summer, wearing hat of stacked-up fruit, two big melons in her arms, every heartbeat out of tune. Priest goes silent mid-anathema, chorus chokes on righteous rage, she walks slowly to the altar, like she’s walking on a stage. On the holy, perfect pizza lying on the linen white, she lays down bright golden slices, rings of sunshine, sharp and bright. [Pre-Chorus 2 – chaos] Someone screams and someone faints, someone drops their glass in fear, priest turns red and foaming furious, “Get that madness out of here!” [Verse 3 – Transformation] Men are standing, fists are shaking, marching down the central aisle, ready to defend tradition, ready to erase her smile. But she turns and starts to shimmer, skin turns into glowing skin, hat of fruit explodes in halos, light is pouring from within. Body fades, but something rises, floating where she used to stand – giant pineapple, crowned and shining, golden spikes and open hands. When it sings the walls start bending, stained glass melts into a stream, “Everybody eats what’s chosen, you don’t own another’s dream. [Bridge – Pineapple Gospel] You can cover it in peppers, you can drown it all in cheese, you can pour your heart upon it, you can top it how you please. If you want to add the sweetest, if you want to break their rules, put the island on your dinner – their disgust won’t make you fools. You can put whatever on it, it’s your mouth and it’s your life, if you really want to push it, you can use a fork and knife.” [Break – priest mutation] Priest screams “Never!” grabs a cleaver, tries to charge the shining crown, but his belly splits with branches growing watermelon down. Vines of red and green are crawling, arms are turning into grapes, eyes like cherries, teeth like seeds, holy man in fruit-shaped chains. [Drop – fruit rave] PIZZA DROP – EVERYBODY BLOOMS, CONGREGATION TURNING INTO JUICE INSIDE THE ROOMS. PIZZA DROP – ORANGE ARMS IN AIR, APPLE HEADS AND STRAWBERRY HAIR. PIZZA DROP – DANCE UNTIL YOU ROT, PINEAPPLE CHOIR PRAISING HOT. PIZZA DROP – ONE LAW FROM ABOVE: EAT WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, CALL IT PIZZA, CALL IT LOVE. [Final Chorus – unified madness] PIZZA DROP – LET THE SAUCE HIT LOUD, TRADITIONAL AND FREAKS ALLOWED. PIZZA DROP – ARGUE IF YOU MUST, SWEET OR SALTY, FIRE OR DUST. PIZZA DROP – WHEN THE OVEN POPS, NO ONE TELLS YOU WHEN TO STOP. PIZZA DROP – UNDER FRUIT OR NOT, EVERY SLICE IS STILL A STORY, EVERY MOUTH CAN CALL THE SHOT. [Outro – vocoder choir] Kneel or dance, curse or bless, in the end it’s just a crust trying to hold your loneliness. Order up. Lights drop. Next mass… PIZZA DROP.
