[Verse 1] Twenty hours in the air, my neck is shot, Living on Rip-Its and burnt-ass coffee pots. Touch down in Kuwait, hit by a wall of heat, Sweat’s running down before I move my feet. Grab your duffel. Stand in line. Hurry up… Then waste your damn time. Private asks, “When do we roll?” Old sergeant laughs, “Slow your damn soul.” [Pre-Chorus] You thought it’d start with guns and smoke. Instead it’s paperwork and dirty jokes. [Chorus] Welcome to the suck! Welcome to the sand! Nothing goes according to the fucking plan. Hot as hell, Boots full of dust. Laugh or lose your damn mind… Welcome to the suck! [Verse 2] Two damn weeks cooking in Kuwait, Hundred-thirty, every day. Need the shitter? Good damn luck. Open the door… “Jesus… what the fuck?” Blue plastic oven, Sweat on your face. Hold your breath, Get outta that place. Warm-ass water, Baby wipes. Everybody’s bitching… Everybody’s right. [Bridge] “Gear up!” “Lock and load!” Lights go black, Now we’re airborne. Combat takeoff. Combat dive. Everybody’s praying They fucking survive. Boom! Touchdown. Grab your gear. Welcome to why The old guys drink beer. [Final Chorus] Welcome to the suck! Now you’re one of us. Someday you’ll laugh at all this stuff. Combat landings, Porta-johns, Stories that’ll last Your whole damn life. Welcome to the suck!
