Ooh behave, lest at my behest Dual blade caress, thou now headless Body thrown in the hedges, for they were careless -Quite- His brethren came forth, all breathless Found thee discarded, cold and lifeless Knelt in the mud, their faces tearless -Splendid- One rose slowly, his posture restrained Swore by his honour, vengeance ordained Mounted his steed, through darkness he reigned -Ride on- Through the moonlit borough, he hastened apace Seeking the rogue who had brought them disgrace Until from the tavern, he heard a familiar voice He entered the chamber, demanding address "Which knave amongst ye hath caused this distress?" A silence descended; each nobleman guessed Then I arose, impeccably dressed Adjusted my cufflinks and straightened my vest "Thou seekest thy brother? I shall confess." -Indeed- "Indeed, 'twas I who rendered him breathless His conduct was vile, his manners were reckless He challenged my honour—I answered with zest." -Off with it- The nobleman trembled, yet still he pressed: "Dost thou not fear what shall happen hence?" I smiled and replied, "Thou hast failed thy test." He drew forth his blade, believing me pressed I stepped to the side as the steel did crest Then whispered: "My dear chap, thou hast misaddressed" A second blade flashed beneath his breast He fell to his knees, his armour distressed I dusted my sleeve and resumed my request: "Now, gentlemen, shall we continue our feast? The evening is young, the wine is the best And should any amongst ye desire to contest—" -Behave- For those who refuse my behest There remain vacant graves to the west And hedges aplenty for those lacking sense -Hark-
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