THE LAST VOYAGE OF CAPTAIN THUNDERGUT

[Verse 1] I woke up lashed to the wheel with a hangover curse Compass spinnin’ like it knows I’ve been gettin’ worse Sea says, “Captain, this ride’s almost done” I said, “Cool—let me tune first, then load the gun” Got salt in my blood and rot in my grin Tattoo says “DESTINY” — spelled wrong, but it’s in If this ship’s goin’ down, she’s goin’ down loud I owe the ocean a solo, and I pay my debts proud [Pre-Chorus] Now gather round, ye beautiful wrecks This ain’t a goodbye— It’s a final flex [Chorus] YO HO — THUNDERGUT SINGS WITH THE END IN SIGHT ONE LAST RIFF FOR THE LONG DARK NIGHT YO HO — NO HEAVEN, NO HELL JUST THE ROAR OF THE SEA IF THIS IS THE END MAKE IT LOUD MAKE IT ME [Verse 2] Crew’s lookin’ shaky, eyes real wet Drummer’s cryin’ again—yeah, I called it, you bet First mate’s prayin’ to a god made of dice Cook’s makin’ soup outta “maybe” and “rice” I’ve stolen crowns, I’ve lied to fate I’ve kissed disaster right on the face If legends judge me, let ‘em say this: “He was dumb as hell… …but damn, he committed.” [Pre-Chorus] Hear that creakin’? That’s not the hull— That’s destiny crackin’ a knuckle [Chorus] YO HO — THUNDERGUT HOWLS AT THE EDGE OF THE MAP SINGIN’ “COME AND GET ME” TO THE BLACK, EMPTY GAP YO HO — IF I’M A SIN LET ME BE LOUD I’LL GO DOWN WRONG I’LL GO DOWN PROUD [Bridge] Hey… Before we die— I just wanna say… I know I yelled a lot. And stole your years. And possibly your futures. But this ship? This crew? This noise we made together? That was the good part. …also I never actually learned how to read maps. I was just vibin’ and pointin’ confidently. WAIT. WAIT WAIT WAIT. WHO FED THE PARROT ESPRESSO??? “DEATH! TAXES! DEATH! TAXES! POLLY WANT A PRE-NUP!” I TOLD YOU— ONE BEAN. MAX. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR CAFFEINATED PROPHECY. …okay. Actually? That feels accurate. Alright! Eyes on me, ya beautiful idiots! Yes—the ship is on fire. Yes—we’re surrounded. Yes—I might be mildly allergic to cannon smoke. BUT— EMOTIONS ARE JUST POWER CHORDS YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED YET. [FINAL CHORUS] YO HO — THUNDERGUT FOREVER TILL THE OCEAN BREAKS I’LL SCREAM SO HARD THAT THE VOID AWAKES YO HO — WHEN THE WATER CLOSES AND THE SKY TURNS GOLD REMEMBER ME NOT FOR HOW I DIED BUT HOW I REFUSED TO FOLD …alright. Who drank the last rum? Because I SPECIFICALLY labeled that barrel— —oh no. The parrot’s got it.