Velvet Karens
******************************************************************************** Velvet Karens On Ludwig Vistalite drum kit - Kim On Höfner 500/1 Violin Bass Sunburst 1965 - Roxy On Gibson G-101 organ - Ivy On 1959 Gretsch 6120 hollowbody guitar - lead singer - Daisy ******************************************************************************** Yeah... hey. Thanks for turning up, or whatever... We are The Stepford Girls... or maybe Plastic Dolls with Bad Attitudes... I can’t remember what we put on the flyer... changed that name so often already... oh wait... we are the magnificent... super sexy... the girls who always behave... the... VELVET KARENS!!!! On drums hitting things because she hates her dad... i give yoooou... Kimmmm... On out-of-tune bass... the magnificeeeent... Roxyyyy... On dumpster funeral Gibson G-101 organ... insaaaaane... Ivyyyy... And I'mmmm... Daisyyyy... your painted trophy wife... We’re playing about spending three hours scrubbing my face, just to look decent next to a guy who smells like old cheese and wet dog. Beautiful romance. One, two, three, four... try to look happy, girls. Caked in makeup, oh we look so dang fine! Squeeze that corset tighter, we must walk the line! My lace underwear is cutting through my skin, but hey, it matches my purse! A walking mannequin, a high-class blessing and a curse! Every single messy hair hairsprayed tight, not a wrinkle out of place While a hurricane of pure rage is ripping through my face! And you? You’re just strolling there, smelling like a trash can, king of the street! In your Swiss-cheese jeans, looking like a total defeat! Those beaten-up boots are literally falling off your feet And that shirt belonged in the bleach a week ago, you lazy deadbeat! But oh, look at mister 'nonchalant', so authentic and so free What an absolute hero to have walking next to me! Perform. Be pretty. Truly a dream come true. You the mud. Me the trophy. What a fantastic team, seriously. I am loving every second of this. Wow, my life is a flipping fairy tale. The whole world is watching, oh the social pressure is real! If I break a single nail, my whole existence loses its appeal! I scrub and I polish my own face completely away While I actually just want to reek like you every single day! You get to smell like a dumpster and a swamp, no one cares at all The roles are split so fairly, man, I’m having a total ball! Perform. Be pretty. Truly a dream come true. You the mud. Me the trophy. What a fantastic team, seriously. I am loving every second of this. Wow, my life is a flipping fairy tale. (Spoken dripping venom) And now, please cover your eyes and shield your precious morals, because our guitar player is about to express herself without asking for permission first. Truly shocking. Oh no, honey, it’s fine... I absolutely love slaving away for hours... while you don't even know how a washing machine works... But I am perfect! A real dream on heels! shut your mouth and keep walking! oh... I hate this so much! Perform. Be pretty. Truly a dream come true. You the mud. Me the trophy. What a fantastic team, seriously. I am loving every second of this. Wow, my life is a flipping fairy tale. Oh, look at us! The perfect couple! Go on, take a picture, it lasts longer! Perform! Be pretty! Be a dreamgirl! Shut up... shut up... shut up...! You can book us for your bar mitzvah... wedding... a funeral... Quinceañera... Seijin no Hi... we do it all... That's it... the Velvet Karens leaving the building...
