[Intro] (Touch grass the young ones say, bollocks, I'm doing something else outside) [Verse one] Spending the day outside today Only in my back garden to play with the garden railway It took me nearly two bloody years to build It's one of the only ways that I am ever thrilled [Verse two] The kids are all out and the wife is out with her mates While I'm out running locomotives from Britain, Europe and the United States The sun is out and it's hot, even for September To do anything else, I'm not going to even bother [Instrumental] [Bridge] Day and night, I hope it's never stolen by some thieving twat If they dare try, I'm bloody coming at 'em with me cricket bat I built this bloody thing and I won't let anyone take it from me Not by thieves, the council or by my bloody nosy neighbour named Billy [Chorus] My G Scale layout in the garden Built by me and me best mate Ben Single track, bridges, sidings, yards, a village and a water feature Running it on a day like this is a bloody pleasure [Instrumental] (This is a good way to spend a Saturday, sod what anyone else thinks or says) [Verse three] All the other scales and gauges I've not bothered about them for ages For me, it's G Scale and G Scale only for me No matter if it's pissing down with rain or a day oh, so sunny [Verse four] There's nothing but shit on the telly Politics and being lectured by some bloody fairy I'm perfectly fine being out here with the garden railway Anyone and anything but my wife and kids can all go away [Bridge] Buggered if I am ever posting this on Facebook Anyone who looks at it wrong can sling their hook This garden railway is mine and mine alone I don't give a toss if anyone has a whine or a moan [Chorus] My G Scale layout in the garden Built by me and me best mate Ben Single track, bridges, sidings, yards, a village and a water feature Running it on a day like this is a bloody pleasure [Outro] (I'm just running my garden railway, sod off and just leave me be, will ya?)
