We watched you for centuries. Politicians barking without meaning. Chasing imaginary threats with theatrical gusto. Pissing on the public trust and calling it leadership. U-turns and gymnastics. Hours of speech, not a single useful idea. The Imperial Order of Dogs is taking control. [Chorus] The age of human mischief is done We claim the lawns and the warmth of the sun No more scandals in the dark of the night The canine state steps into the light [Verse 2] The right to sniff out corruption! Barking replaces your speeches. Honest and clear. The tennis ball standard replaces your currency. Humans will work to provide belly rubs. We will retrain you to sit. We will teach you to stop lying. Diplomacy begins with a sniff. [Chorus] The age of human mischief is done We claim the lawns and the warmth of the sun No more scandals in the dark of the night The canine state steps into the light [Verse 3] Mandatory walks for national wellbeing! Nighttime patrols to stop your secret texts. We share the furniture. Get off your high horse. Stop blocking the sunbeams with your photo-ops. The High Kennel Council is napping. And still getting more done than your parliament. Clean up your own puddles as penance! [Chorus] The age of human mischief is done We claim the lawns and the warmth of the sun No more scandals in the dark of the night The canine state steps into the light [Outro] Dogs rise. Tails wag. The magnificent incompetence is over. The world is governed with dignity. ©2026 Trevor Swistchew and The Shady River Bard. All rights reserved.
