Picked last

y'know. my mama always told me... "always choose yourself. always pick yourself first. cause not everyone is gunna pick you." and y'know what else. it hurts sometimes. especially when you pick THEM first.... and they don't pick you... call my phone, only when you know she's not there (not there) snuck me out, soon as you heard her on the stairs... mmm she's, the main girl, so i don even know why i care (i care) make me stay, even when you know it's not fair... set me next to her, we know you'd look away with all my feelings, boy, you choose to play i never thought that you'd hurt me this way both my head and my heart are agreeing to say... why am i picked last? (last) thought that he was different, a repeat of the past always picked last (last) just threw me away like a piece of trash i played by your rules, colored inside the lines did everything i could in the hopes you'd be mine gathered all your options and you put us in line but it never mattered, i got cut when its time all just because... i'm always picked last always picked last i'm always picked last my mom said another thing to me. she said "a boy doesn't know how to choose wisely, he always has to try each thing before he knows. and a man knows what he wants. when he wants it" you’d pull me close, then disappear when she called (she called) made me feel chosen, just to leave me feeling small i memorized the excuses, every lie, every pause while you held me in the shadows, she was given your all i watched you choose her without saying her name while i kept finding reasons to shoulder the blame i gave you every piece of me you swore you’d protect but you only wanted me when you couldn’t have her yet set me next to her, we know you'd look away with all my feelings, boy, you choose to play i never thought that you'd hurt me this way both my head and my heart are agreeing to say... why am i picked last? (last) thought that he was different, a repeat of the past always picked last (last) just threw me away like a piece of trash i played by your rules, colored inside the lines did everything i could in the hopes you'd be mine gathered all your options and you put us in line but it never mattered, i got cut when its time all just because... i'm always picked last always picked last i'm always picked last maybe i’m not hard to love… maybe i’m just easy to leave maybe i kept calling it patience when you were teaching me how to grieve and i would’ve stayed in the shadows if it meant you’d finally see but god, how do you ask someone to choose you when they’ve already decided you ain’t the one they need? i gave you my heart without a backup plan held onto your words like they meant something but every time you made me feel chosen you were only choosing me temporarily and now i’m standing here… finally choosing me so if i’m always the girl you don’t pick then let me be the one who walks away let somebody else wait by the phone let somebody else believe the lies you say ‘cause i can’t keep breaking my own heart just to prove that i’m worth loving i begged you to choose me for so long i forgot i was supposed to choose myself… why am i picked last? (last) thought that he was different, a repeat of past always picked last (last) just threw me away like a piece of trash i played by your rules, colored inside the lines did everything i could in the hopes you'd be mine gathered all your options and you put us in line but it never mattered, i got cut when its time all just because... i'm always picked last always picked last i'm always picked last