[Intro: girls speaking] [girls speaking] Oh my Gosh, Becky, look at that author, it is so big, ugh [girl 2 speaking] is that GK Chesterton? He's huge! A lot of guys reed him. [girl speaking] Who understands those GK guys? Ugh, they only read him 'cause he huge [girl 2 speaking] I mean, he's so huge. [girl speaking] GK got fat! [Verse 1] I like big authors and I cannot lie You other readers can’t deny That when an author walks in with an itty bitty stache and big round belly and that hair like fluff ’cause you notice writer’s stuff Deep in the three-piece suit he’s wearin’ I’m hooked and I can’t stop starin’ Oh, GK, I wanna read ya And look at your pictures My homeboys tried to warn me But those paradoxes you got makes so much sense Oh, Gk Chester Your writing could fill a treasure chest, sir Well, keep writing essays ’with that hair all big and mess-say I’ve seen Herbert to hell with George Shaw She sweat, wet, got it goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette I’m tired of the newspaper saying godlessness is the thing Take the average working man and ask him that you gotta pack that common sense So, fellas (Yeah), Fellas (Yeah) Is your author half a ton(Hell yeah) Tell ’em to shake it (Shake it) Shake it (Shake it) Shake that crow quill pen, GK got fat [Chorus] GKC with a Chesterbooty GK got fat GKC with a Chesterbooty GKC with a Chesterbooty [Verse 2] I like ’em round, and wise my authors of great size I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like Swinburne Now here’s my scandal I wanna get home and read And ugh, double-up, ugh-ugh I ain’t talkin’ ’bout Karl Marx and Engels ‘Cause socialism is for little boys I want ’my author real thick and juicy So find that juicy double GK got me in trouble Beggin’ for a piece from that bubble So at rare bookstores I’m fishin’ Knock-knock GKC first editions You can have Mark Twain I want my author like Cleveland A word to the thick boi writers. I wanna read yo stuff I won’t cuss or hit ya But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna— (Uh) ‘Til the break of dawn This essay got it goin’ on A lot of simps won’t like this song Cause them punks like Freddy Nietzsche And I’d rather read GKC, G ‘Cause I’m a believer in God And I’m down to get conviction on So, ladies (Yeah), Ladies (Yeah) If you wanna read Man Who Was Thursday Then turn around, stick your hand out That’s what Chesterton is all about [Chorus] GK got fat GK got fat [Bridge] Yeah, baby, when it comes to authors them skinny brits can piss off, mate 300 pounds, at least. six foot four or more [Verse 3] So your girlfriend reads Charles Darwin Your mono-maniacal darlin’ But she ain’t got chest of Chesterton son This chubby author chaser don’t want none Unless he’s a big’un, hun You can go light on the cheese and bread But please stay big and plump ’til your dead Some brothers wanna be Malthusian And assault us with their delusion So they don’t like an author of size And I pull up quick put that book to my eyes So The London Daily likes HG better Well GK got the ham and the cheddar His waist is big and his books are kickin’ And he likes fried chicken To the beanpole authors in the universities: You ain’t it, thin bois Give me a Chesta, That’s the besta Red beans and rice he eats them Some knucklehead tried to diss ‘Cause his authors aren’t on my list He had Orthodoxy but chose to read Shaw And I pull up quick and I draw So GK, if the body is round And you know how to write an essay down Dial 1-900-GK-CHESTERTON And write another one [Outro] GK got fat GK got fat Little mustache on a great big boi Little mustache on a great big boi Little mustache on a great big boi Little mustache on a great big boi
