[Intro] Money makes the world go round. End the FED to see what happens. Will it stop turning? Lets find out. [Verse 1] Woke up, overslept, had a crushing headache. Hit my toe on the frame getting out of bed. Checked on my crypto, had to do a double take. Guess the whales decided to put em in the red. Went downstairs, washed up and had a crap. Noticed halfway there was no more toilet paper left. Clutched my ass, quickly wiggled to clear the gap. Managed to grab a packet of pocket tissues: YES!, SURVIVED THE TEST! Had a wipe, finger went right through. Shit on my hand, hadn’t bothered to think. Took out my phone to check on camel crew. Charts turned brown, took a while before I finally made the link. Stood back up, quickly rinsed it in the sink. Drowned it even though it said waterproof on the case. Put it in rice and managed to get rid of the stink. Got to the office, hour late, boss right in my face. [Pre-chorus spoken word] “HEY MAN, YOU’RE FINALLY HERE! WHY DON’T YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE ON!? I CALLED YOU LIKE THREE TIMES, STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL! ALSO, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!? [Power-Chorus] Sorry, it was difficult for me getting here in time. Been a rough morning, I’ll work late on my own dime. You don’t want to know the details, trust me. Won’t happen again, that’s a guarantee. [Verse 2] Got away with a warning, close to blowing up a fuse. Logged in on my computer, started clearing out my mail. Noticed my pay was in, time to take care of my dues. All expenses out the way: LET’S GO RETAIL! Logged in on my exchange to buy the dip. Got reverse uno’d, dalai lama rocketship. Was about to fomo in but my payments skipped. Website went down, started to lose my grip. Co-worker out of nowhere: (HA, I’M RICH!) Stress levels rising, my feet started to twitch. Walked out for a smoke, lighter had a glitch. Lost my shit: AGAIN!? SON OF A BITCH! Turned around, saw everyone in shock. Looking at me like I’ve been living under a rock. Boss in tears, I was confused, not sure what i was looking at. Right, i forgot, his mom got rekt using a leverage trading strat. (wooo!) [Powerpop Chorus] (THAT'S IT, YOU'RE FIRED, TAKE YOUR THINGS AND GO!) (DON'T COME BACK AND DO LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT, BRO!!) [Bridge] [Quiet calm] Everyone went quiet, disapproving faces all over the place. Soaked up the moment, then stress left without a trace. Relaxed myself and put a grin on my face. Now that I've got everyone’s attention, might as well use the space. Got on a chair: ALWAYS USE T.P., JUST A TIP!!! BELIEVE ME, FIRST WIPE A POCKET TISSUE WILL RIP!!! (Dude, you seem to be losing it, are you ok?) Don't worry, i'm fine, i'll just be on my merry way. [Verse 3] Went to pick up my stuff, while doing a little dance. Losing my job isn't so bad, knowing I've got camel finance. I'll find another one to increase my exposure on the cycle low. Hope my stop losses won't get triggered for a while though. Guard next to me: (CAMEL CREW FOR LIFE, WITHOUT A DOUBT!). Middle fingers in the air as we walked our way out. Both having a blast, smiling the entire route. Decided to put on The Grind, volume: (EXTREMELY LOUD!) [Powerpop Chorus] GOOD LUCK MAKING IT ON YOUR NINE TO FIVES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES!!! ENOUGH BITCOIN IN MY WALLET TO NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN, TELL YOUR WIVES!!! [Break] [Outro] [Quiet calm] Woke up gasping for air: "what the fuck!". I can't afford to get fired right now, god i feel stuck. Shit, need to get to work, i'll worry about it later. But maybe i should first make sure there’s still enough toilet paper. [End]
