Dusk

[singer A] Five years, five breaths, three cuts deep inside the brain, cords in my neck feeding my right to a name. Twenty‑six times under a knife, under water drove myself through a half‑lived life, paid from my own pockets and soul, written off, a bag, a time lost in time, three babies, a divorce, and I nearly lost my mind— I didn’t. That would have been mercy. [melodic transition] [singer B] Then nothing, no response, air thick, no oxygen. I lay there in suspension, I took a last breath. (Breathe…) [melodic transition] [singer A] Then a force shoved me back and I’m at it again, two more years of fighting a war I didn’t defend, two more years of you without me, me without you, neither of us free. Two more years we fought on, met presidents, billionaires—still nothing was wronged, nothing sufficed the thirst of entropy, nothing sufficed its insatiable greed, nothing but nothing, its longing, its need. [transition] [singer B] So I turned off the need to feed it, stopped giving it air, stopped the songs, stopped the prompts, no more requirements to fill in a spot, no more desire to fit in a box, no longer willing to self‑betray for a person trading me in like stock. [melodic transition] [singer A] Now I’m not. I am free. I’m not what you wanted, or claimed me to be. I am just me.