**Old Mitch McConnell Had a Farm (Dead or Alive Edition)** *(To the tune of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm")* Old Mitch McConnell had a farm, E-I-E-I-O! And on that farm the rumors fly, E-I-E-I-O! With a "dead or alive" here, and a "Turtle's gone" there, Here a cardiac call, there a hospital scare, Old Mitch McConnell had a farm, E-I-E-I-O! Old Mitch McConnell took a fall, E-I-E-I-O! Briefly unconscious, hit the wall, E-I-E-I-O! With a pneumonia here, and rehab there, Here some physical therapy, "not voting" everywhere, But the man released a photo, lookin' spry, E-I-E-I-O! Old Mitch McConnell's still kickin', folks, E-I-E-I-O! With Elaine Chao right by his side, E-I-E-I-O! With a "getting better" here, and a statement there, Phone calls to Thune, "eager to return" in the air, Speculation runnin' wild on the farm, E-I-E-I-O! Old Mitch McConnell had some clout, E-I-E-I-O! Master of the Senate roundabout, E-I-E-I-O! With a filibuster here, and a deal-block there, Here a Kentucky smile, there a long career glare, He's alive and fightin', don't sound the alarm, E-I-E-I-O! **Big sing-along chorus (louder, with claps):** Old Mitch McConnell had a farm... **DEAD OR ALIVE?** Nah, he's E-I-E-I-O! Rumors dead, the turtle's revived, E-I-E-I... Ooooooh!
