[Intro] [piano playing sustained chords] [Verse 1] [breathy female vocals] To my boy, I need you to know I didn't leave 'cause I wanted to go I was drowning in battles you couldn't see Trying to fight what was killing me [clean electric guitar enters with arpeggios] I packed your clothes and I drove that night Took you to Mom's where it felt more right Said just for now till I'm stronger again I thought I'd fix me, then come back then [Chorus] [drums and bass enter, full band arrangement] I asked for help, I raised my hands Never thought they wouldn't understand One small step turned into war And suddenly I wasn't yours anymore I chose to lose you so you could win Chose your safety over my skin If love was weakness, I'd still fall through 'Cause every hard choice I made was you They can write their papers, say what they choose But no court in this world can say I didn't choose you [Verse 2] [drums drop out, piano and strings continue] You'll hear stories when you grow tall Versions of me that don't fit at all They won't tell you how hard I tried Or how many nights I broke inside [drums re-enter] Addiction's a monster, quiet and slow It takes your life before you know I stepped away so you wouldn't see The worst parts of what lived in me [Bridge] [piano and strings, drums playing light fills] I watched you sleeping before I left Kissed your cheek and held my breath I whispered Mommy will fix her mind And prayed one day you'd understand why [Chorus] [full intensity, belted vocals, heavy crash cymbals] I chose to lose you so you could win That's what loving you looked like then Not walking away, but stepping aside So you never drowned in my dark tide And if one day you question my truth [music softens to solo piano] Just know every breath I take is you
