Hi i'm INTEL! I'm building fabs in Ohio, in Arizona, in New York! Three hundred billion reasons why America should work! We've lost the edge to Asia—it's a national disgrace! But give us those subsidies and we'll win the chipmaking race! (building to a crescendo) We're the only ones who etch it, etch it, right here on U.S. soil! Give us the CHIPS Act money or the whole darn tech world will spoil! Taiwan's too close to China—it's a geopolitical trap! So write that check to Intel, folks, we'll fill the gap! [different female voice, KPOP Energy] And I'm samsung... In Texas we will build the largest fab the world has seen, Seventeen billion dollars—imagine what that means! You speak of "America First," but supply chains don't care... We're Korean, yes, but global—and the future's built to share. From Seoul to Austin, Texas, our technology flows free, You need us, we need you—this is interdependency! While Intel talks of patriotism, we bring capital and speed, The CHIPS Act isn't charity... it's partnership we need! [male voice, hip taiwanese energy] TSMC Here... Okay. Okay. You want the best? You want the smallest? Three nanometer, two? I'm already shipping Apple chips while they're still in the queue. Intel's building future fabs—I'm building now. Samsung's playing catch-up, but I made the vow: (speeding up) Ninety percent of advanced chips? Yeah, that's me, that's TSMC, You want reshoring? Fine. But you need my technology. Give me Arizona, give me billions, I'll transfer the know-how, Without me, your "independence" is a paper tiger—kapow. (slowing, intense) I'm not asking to be American. I'm offering you access. The CHIPS Act money? Just the price of your... success. FINALE: "The Committee Hearing" (All three, chaotic counterpoint, "One Day More" style) INTEL: American jobs! SAMSUNG: Global stability! TSMC: Actual working nodes! ALL: The CHIPS Act, the CHIPS Act, fifty billion up for grabs! (They freeze. Spotlight on a single BUREAUCRAT at a desk) BUREAUCRAT: (spoken, dryly) Your presentations have been... noted. Funding decisions will be announced...eventually...
