[128 BPM funky house/electro-rap; four-on-floor, bouncy bass, claps, synths; female talk-rap, gang choruses, comedic cuts] [INTRO — funky bass, bouncy talk-rap] Okay… Ugg boots on, Lululemon leggings tight, High-waisted, fleece-lined, Yeah, the fit is right. Oversized cream sweater, Teddy jacket, beige, Chunky scarf wrapped up, It’s a cozy kinda day. Little crossbody, Pink scrunchie in my hair, Messy bun, oversized shades Like I don’t even care. [BUILD — claps, rising bass] Obviously. It’s the— [CHORUS — huge electro drop, gang vocals] BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! Treat yourself! Low-key! Slay! BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! Messy bun! Pink scrunchie! All day! BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! [BEAT CUT] I don’t follow trends [spoken] I just happen to own all of them. [BASS HIT] [VERSE 1 — bouncy funky talk-rap] Silver-gold hoops, Layered necklaces, Oversized shades, No consequences. Messy bun up high, Pink scrunchie holding tight, Keeping it together At least until tonight. [BEAT CUT — deadpan] Structural engineering at its best. [pause] Slay. [BEAT BACK — funky bass, claps] Crossbody swinging, Got my phone inside, Apple Watch ticking, And a whole lotta vibe. [BEAT CUT — bass hit per word] LIV! LAUGH! LOVE! [SILENCE — deadpan] Words I live by. [sarcastic] So deep. [BEAT BACK] Now get outta my way [BEAT CUT] It’s Starbucks time. [VERSE 2 — theatrical talk-rap, funky beat] Walk through the door, straight to the counter. I know what I want. I’ve rehearsed this. [BEAT PAUSE] [MACHINE-GUN RAP — breathless, tight kick] Venti-hot-pumpkin-spice, oat-milk-sweet-cream, extra-pump-extra-foam, extra-drizzle-in-the-cup, extra-drizzle-on-the-top, extra-hot-extra-whip Yep-perfect-thanks! [HARD STOP] I’m not paying six dollars for a drink with no extras. (Uh-uh!) [Cashier] “Name?” Jessica. … But Jess is fine. [BREAK — ticking beat] I wait. I wait. Check my Apple Watch. I wait. Five minutes. [BUILD] I get my drink. Look at the top. [CUT] They forgot… the extra whip??? [SILENCE] No. [EXPLOSIVE EDM DROP] I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN! [CHORUS — full club beat, gang responses] I literally can’t even! [CAN’T EVEN!] Ruining the vibes! [THE VIBES!] I literally can’t even! [BEAT CUT] But I’m drinking it anyway! [BEAT BACK] BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! Treat yourself! Low-key! Slay! BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! Messy bun! Pink scrunchie! All day! [STOP] Whatever. Kohl’s time. [VERSE 3 — funky club rap, speeding up] Literally need one thing. That’s it. One thing. Walk through the door Ooh. Vanilla-scented candle? Five of those. Warm vanilla pumpkin spice? Bonus. It’s giving fall for sure. Pink throw pillow to match my scrunchie. String fairy lights? Could always use more. Black leggings? Obviously. Can never have enough. [FASTER — rapid rap, rolling beat] Glitter pumpkins, ceramic ghosts, skeleton garlands, light-up witch hats [STOP] [serious spoken] Fall essentials. [pause] Wait. What did I come here for? [BRIDGE — sparse, confused] Hmm. [long pause] A bath towel? …I think? [BEAT BACK] Looks at bags. Looks at receipt. Looks at bags again. [STOP] Oh my God. I’m dead. [BUILD — chanting] Basic… Basic… Basic… Basic… [FINAL CHORUS — maximal electro drop, gang vocals] BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! Ugg boots! Leggings! Teddy! BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! Extra whip! Pumpkin spice! Slay! BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! Kohl’s took my whole paycheck! BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK! [BEAT CUT — proud spoken] I saved seventy dollars! [pause] …I spent three hundred. [BEAT CUT] But I got Kohl’s Cash! [BASS DROP — triumphant] THAT’S BASICALLY FREE MONEY! [BEAT BACK] And look at all this cute shit I got! [POST-CHORUS — dance beat, call-response] Treat yourself! [TREAT YOURSELF!] Low-key! [LOW-KEY!] It’s giving fall! [IT’S GIVING FALL!] Adulting is hard! [ADULTING IS HARD!] [OUTRO — beat strips, spoken] Kohl’s is dangerous for me. Seriously. I went in for a bath towel. [bag rustling] …Did I even buy a bath towel? [STOP] No. [pause] Should I get more Starbucks? [FINAL BASS HIT] BASIC BITCH STARTER PACK!
