Intake Form

Oh, we're going clockwise? Sorry. Hi, I'm Xak. They said we're supposed to be honest. How honest? They took my belt, my shoelaces And everything that cuts The doctor said I'm dangerous I said, "Well, that's a bit much" I only killed a couple Well, a couple dozen, fine But half of those were accidents Depending how you define The cops were very judgmental Digging through my yard I told 'em, "Watch the flowerbeds I worked on those quite hard" They found a shoebox full of IDs A wedding ring, a tongue And Polaroids of people Who'd been missing since I was young The detective started gagging I said, "Jesus, grow a pair" Then asked him if he'd kindly Get his muddy shoes off there Those carpets were expensive. Check the box, sign the line I'm cooperative, I'm fine Any thoughts of hurting others? Could you narrow down the time? Check my pulse, count to four Lock me up and shut the door I've got plenty more to tell you If there's room on my intake form (Intake form!) Put it down in black and white (Intake form!) I'm a little fucked up, right? Don't you worry, I'm reformed Put that on my intake form! Now everybody's got a story There's a circle, twelve of us One guy talks about his mother One about his broken trust And Susan's taking notes Like she's writing her memoir I could tell her things about myself That'd leave a permanent scar See, people call me heartless And I think that's rather rude I've got three inside the freezer All neatly labeled "food" One of them was quite a screamer Had a lovely tenor range I recorded his last performance Though the ending sounds quite strange Do I feel remorse? Of course! I regret the broken chair I regret the fucking neighbor Who kept asking what was there I regret the noisy plumbing And the smell beneath the floor But the bodies? Nah, not really What the hell is there to mourn? I'm just trying to be friendly I'm just trying to be nice Though I must admit I wonder How his eyes would go with rice Check the box, sign the line I'm cooperative, I'm fine Any thoughts of hurting others? Could you narrow down the time? Check my pulse, count to four Lock me up and shut the door I've got plenty more to tell you If there's room on my intake form (Intake form!) Put it down in black and white (Intake form!) I'm a little fucked up, right? Don't you worry, I'm reformed Put that on my intake form! You know what really bothers me? Everybody asks the same questions. Why'd you do it? Did you enjoy it? How do you sleep at night? In a bed, Susan. Like everybody else. Although I did have to replace the mattress. Now Susan's started crying And the doctor dropped her pen And the gentleman beside me Keeps on counting up to ten I don't know why they're frightened I'm just trying to participate Isn't sharing part of healing? Isn't that why we're here today? I could tell you about Daniel How he cried about his wife How he begged me for forgiveness While I sharpened up my knife I could tell you about Margaret And the necklace that she wore And the way she stopped complaining When her head fell to the floor Now you're staring at the carpet And the nurse is on the phone Ain't this supposed to be a group thing? Why's she leaving me alone? You wanted me to share Now you're acting like you care 'Bout the shit inside my head When you're the ones who put it there! You wanted all the details Now you're screaming at the facts Can't put a fucking bandage On a body that's been hacked! I'm a model of cooperation An outstanding patient, see? I haven't killed a single person Since they fucking admitted me! And I think that deserves some recognition. Check the box, sign the line I'm cooperative, I'm fine Any thoughts of hurting others? Could you narrow down the time? Check my pulse, count to four Lock me up and shut the door I've got plenty more to tell you If there's room on my intake form! Oh, we're finished? Already? Well, that was nice. Same time next Thursday? Same people? Perfect.