[Intro - spoken dramatically] Ladies and gentlemen The eternal dance... Of proving... you are... who you say you are [Verse 1 - sultry tango voice] Type your password, mi amor Sixteen characters or more Special symbols, uppercase delight Now we dance all through the night [Pre-Chorus - building tension] But wait! That's not enough for me I need more security! [Chorus - passionate] Check your phone! (I checked it) Check your email! (I checked it) Six digit code, you have five minutes Hurry my love, before it's finished! [Verse 2 - increasingly frantic] The code arrives, I type with passion ERROR: Please try again with compassion Did you mean your OTHER email? This verification cannot fail! [Chorus] Check your phone! (It's dead now) Check your email! (Wrong thread now) Would you like to answer security questions? Mother's maiden name suggestions? [Bridge - dramatic tango breakdown] What was your first pet? (I forget! I forget!) Where did your parents meet? (This defeat! This defeat!) CAPTCHA! Prove you're human! (I'M TRYING! I'M ASSUMING!) [Verse 3 - exhausted but still dancing] Three hours later, still we dance My bank account, just one glance Finally in! Victory is mine! "SESSION TIMEOUT - Please sign in" [Final Chorus - defeated passion] Check your phone! (I threw it) Check your email! (I knew it) Start again, my digital lover This tango will never be over! [Outro - spoken, exhausted] Perhaps tomorrow... We try the password reset... No! Not another verification! I keep my money in the mattress!
