[style: deep British male baritone, suave vocal delivery, resonant chest voice, smooth tone, rich British accent, bossa nova, slow tempo, nylon-string guitar, fingerstyle comping, upright bass, brushed snare, close-mic vibraphone, warm organ pads, dry intimate mix, tape saturation, plate reverb, sparse arrangement, brush swing, late-night lounge, seductive hush] NO TIME TO BUY James Bond’s Very Ordinary, Very Annoying Day [Intro — Sophisticated Bossa Nova, Nylon Guitar, Upright Bass, Brushes] [Deep baritone spoken intro, smooth British accent] Good evening. Have a seat while I tell you about my day. [saxophone solo] [Verse 1] [Deep baritone spoken, smooth British accent] Woke up seven-thirty, reached to turn on the light Bulb gave one little flicker, then surrendered the fight Squeezed the tube of toothpaste—nothing left inside Rolled it from the bottom Still, the bastard lied One square of paper hanging lonely on the roll Coffee in the cupboard—but the filters are all gone Toast came up too early, put it down another round Turned away for five seconds Now it’s charcoal brown [Chorus] [Powerful belted baritone, dramatic cinematic vocals] It’s just one of those days Nothing’s really wrong Just a thousand little things Going slightly wrong No lasers, bombs, assassins No one threatening the Crown The world isn’t in need of saving Just one of those days When everything lets you down [Saxophone Fill] 🎷 [Verse 2] [Deep baritone spoken, smooth British accent] Aston Martin starts up beautifully, of course Then the little petrol warning joins me on my course Pull into the station, choose the pump and then— Fuel cap’s on the other side Move the car again [British male baritone spoken] Card reader says [sultry female robot voice spoken] PLEASE INSERT CARD [British male baritone spoken] So I insert my card [sultry female robot voice spoken] PLEASE REMOVE CARD [British male baritone spoken] once again I remove my credit card. [sultry female robot voice spoken] PLEASE INSERT CARD [British male baritone spoken] I insert [sultry female robot voice spoken] PLEASE REMOVE CARD [British male baritone spoken] I’m beginning to get hurt [sultry female robot voice spoken]Would you like a receipt? [British male baritone spoken] Yes. [sultry female robot voice spoken] The PRINTER UNAVAILABLE! [British male baritone spoken] Wonderful. Try explaining that to Accounts. [Instrumental — Unreasonably Relaxed Bossa] [Verse 3] [Deep baritone spoken, smooth British accent] Stopped to get some groceries, only needed five Forgot the bloody shopping list, but somehow I’ll survive Every checkout’s empty except the one I choose Someone’s paying seventeen pounds Entirely in twos Get home with the shopping, put everything away Open up the fridge and realize with mounting dismay Milk was the one thing The one thing I went for [Spoken] Of course. [Chorus] [Powerful belted baritone, dramatic cinematic vocals] It’s just one of those days Nothing’s really wrong Just a thousand little things Going slightly wrong I’ve infiltrated fortresses I’ve fought beneath the sea I have even been to outer space But apparently buying milk Is somewhat beyond me [Saxophone Solo — Smooth, Completely Unconcerned] [Verse 4] [Suave chest voice, intimate delivery] Laundry says one minute, so I pour myself a drink Come back seven minutes later— ONE MINUTE. I blink. I shower. Change. Make dinner. Read tomorrow’s briefing through. ONE MINUTE. I stare at it. It stares at me too. [Bridge — Bossa Becomes Suspiciously Calm] [Intimate low register, dark baritone vocals] [Stripped back instrumentation, analog warmth At last the laundry finishes The groceries are stored I’ve found another toilet roll My dignity restored I make the perfect martini And settle in my chair Remote control beside me Finally… I am there. [Music Softens] Press the button. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Open up the battery case— One battery rolls across the table… drops… and disappears beneath the sofa. [Silence] [Spoken — Very Calm] My name is Bond. James Bond. Agent 007. I’ve survived assassins. Exploding buildings. Poison. Torture. International conspiracies. [click-click] And I have a license to kill. [explosion] [One Beat of Silence] The television turns on. [Bossa Immediately Resumes] I will now consume my martini— Shaken NOT stirred [sultry female spoken delivery slowly ] Hello James, I thought I’d drop by to see if you were available. Are you busy? [British male baritone Spoken] I have a feeling I’m about to be. [Saxophone Outro] [End] [Sharp Whip Crack — Sleigh Ride Style] [One Beat of Silence] The television turns on. [Bossa Immediately Resumes] I will now consume my martini— Shaken NOT stirred [One Beat of Silence] The television turns on. [Bossa Immediately Resumes] I will now consume my martini— Shaken NOT stirred [female spoken sultry slow delivery ] Hello James, I thought I’ d drop by to see if you were available. Are you busy? [British male baritone Spoken] I have a feeling I’ m about to be. [female spoken sultry slow delivery ]Did you remember the milk? [ Saxophone Outro] [ End] [click-click] And I have a license to kill. [Sharp Whip Crack — Sleigh Ride Style] [One Beat of Silence] The television turns on. [Bossa Immediately Resumes] I will now consume my martini— Shaken NOT stirred [female spoken slow sultry delivery ] Hello ,James, I thought I’ d drop by to see if you were available. Are you busy? [British male baritone Spoken] I have a feeling I’ m about to be. [female spoken delivery slow and seductively] Did you remember to pick up milk? [ Saxophone Outro] [ End]
