(Are you tired of ordinary spatulas? Do your forks let you down? Introducing the Super-Chop Nine Thousand!) (Wait, that wasn't supposed to happen... operators are standing by!) It chops an apple and it paints your fence It makes your dinner and it makes good sense It comes in yellow and it comes in red It folds the blankets right upon the bed You get a free set of ceramic knives Guaranteed to turn around your lives Just dial the digits on the bottom screen The cleanest gadget that you ever seen Operators waiting for the telephone Do not let your kitchen sit around alone Operators on the line, call it in (Call it in) Three easy payments and you win (And you win) Operators on the line, take the deal (Take the deal) Tell me how you really feel (How you feel) I called the number back in eighty-four A cardboard package landed at my door I opened up the bubble wrap inside I pressed the button and the motor died A puff of gray smoke drifted in the air I shook the casing and began to stare I called the hotline for a full refund They told me customer support was done Operators waiting for the telephone Do not let your kitchen sit around alone Operators on the line, call it in (Call it in) Three easy payments and you win (And you win) Operators on the line, take the deal (Take the deal) Tell me how you really feel (How you feel) (Shipping and handling not included. Warranty void if touched directly.) Operators on the line, call it in (Call it in) Three easy payments and you win (And you win) Operators on the line, take the deal (Take the deal) Tell me how you really feel (How you feel) Hang up the phone and keep the plastic tray We will be back on channel eight all day (Operators, yeah) (Call it now)
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