Lyrics written by DNormous [Verse 1] Woke up Friday morning girlfriend hipster thong bikini Got the Five A M grump grump but no time to be a meany Kick flip out of bed on my sleepy time long board Call up the goobers to find out what’s the word They said [Chorus] Ah… Maelstrom… Ah… Maelstrom… Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… MAELSTROM!!!!! Sheeeeeeww! [instrument break] [Verse 2] Seven Jacks and Stacies nuts to butts in the Volkswagen Boards stacked on the roof like Waterworld’s about to happen Tide is whirlin’ angry sky’s firin off its static Poseidon’s so pissed off even the fishies start to panic They said [Chorus] Ah… Maelstrom… Ah… Maelstrom… Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… MAELSTROM!!!!! Sheeeeeeww! [instrument break] [Verse 3] Toe pads pound the sand before the boards start lickin salt Bee lining the horizon like reverse D Day assault Then a wave so demonic I accepted Jesus as my Lord Swallowed Paul and Bonnie while I polluted my shorts (yeuck!) [instrument break] [Chorus] Ah… Maelstrom… Ah… Maelstrom… Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… MAELSTROM!!!!! Sheeeeeeww! [Verse 4] Then the waves converged til they were sixteen stories high I asked if there was any chance I could just hang five My whip snapped in two pieces like free Olive Garden bread Then a rock lobster swam up and on God this what he said He said [Chorus] Ah… Maelstrom… Ah… Maelstrom… Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… MAELSTROM!!!!! [Final Chorus] Ah… Maelstrom… Ah… Maelstrom… Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… Ah-ah MAELSTROMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
