[INTRO — distorted intercom, sub-bass] [INTERCOM] Now serving number six-six-six. [RAPPER — spoken] That's me. [Beat drops] [VERSE 1 — swaggering, tightly rhythmic] Died on a Tuesday, woke up in a queue, Dead little number with a form to get through. Angel at the desk said, "State your last name." I said, "Before I do that—who's running this game?" Gold on the ceiling, marble on the floor, Whole lotta paradise behind one door. Saints in the lobby looking bored as hell, Everybody smiling like they're scared to tell. They weighed my sins, put a stamp on the page: "Some minor blasphemy. Moderate rage. Questioned authority, excessive profanity—" Hold up. That's half of humanity. Clerk leaned close like, "Between me and you, Upstairs takes a cut of everything you do. Hell owns the debt, Heaven owns the lease." I said— "Cool. Where do you keep the keys?" [HOOK — huge, rhythmic gang vocals] I ROBBED THE AFTERLIFE! KICKED IN THE PEARLY GATES! TOOK THE DEVIL'S BLACK CARD, PUT HEAVEN ON THE PLATE! IF ETERNITY'S A RACKET, THEN I'M TAKING MY CUT— GOD LOCKED THE VAULT. I SAID, "GOOD FUCKIN' LUCK." [Post-hook — funky bass break] Good luck. Good-good-good fuckin' luck. [VERSE 2 — funkier pocket, dark comedy] Took an elevator straight down below, Devil had a penthouse overlooking the glow. Silk red suit, little drink in his hand, Said, "You've got potential. I can make you a brand." I said, "What's the deal?" "Just your soul." "That's cliché." "It's traditional." "Still no." He slid me a contract, six hundred pages, Non-compete clause for eternal damnation, Mandatory screaming, weekends included— I looked at the Devil. "Man, your benefits are stupid." He said, "You can't leave." I said, "Watch me." Snatched his little briefcase, Took Lobby Three, Pulled the fire alarm, Made the damned stampede— Now Heaven's on line one, Hell's on line two, Both screaming— [Spoken] "What the FUCK did you do?!" [HOOK] I ROBBED THE AFTERLIFE! KICKED IN THE PEARLY GATES! TOOK THE DEVIL'S BLACK CARD, PUT HEAVEN ON THE PLATE! IF ETERNITY'S A RACKET, THEN I'M TAKING MY CUT— GOD LOCKED THE VAULT. I SAID, "GOOD FUCKIN' LUCK." [BREAKDOWN — guitars enter, half-time industrial groove] [RAPPER] Now I'm banned from the basement, Banned from the sky, Got celestial warrants saying "DEAD OR ALIVE." Which feels redundant. But fine. [VERSE 3 — aggressive, accelerating flow] Now I got halos in the glovebox, Horns in the trunk, Holy water in a flask And the Styx getting drunk. Got a cherub riding shotgun, Demon in the back, Both quit their jobs When they saw what I jacked. I got names in the ledger, Got dirt on the throne, Got every little secret That the dead never know. Heaven sells salvation, Hell sells fear, Funny how the invoice Looks the same from here. So I tore up the books, Set the balance to zero, Gave the damned their names back, Told the saints, "You're free to go." Then the clouds split wide— Voice booming: "WHO DARES?" [Beat cuts] Me. You want your shit back? Come downstairs. [FINAL HOOK — full band, gang vocals] I ROBBED THE AFTERLIFE! KICKED IN THE PEARLY GATES! TOOK THE DEVIL'S BLACK CARD, PUT HEAVEN ON THE PLATE! NO SAINT, NO SINNER, NO MASTER, NO KING— IF DEATH WANTS A PAYMENT, IT AIN'T GETTING A THING! I ROBBED THE AFTERLIFE! [Gang vocal] ROBBED IT BLIND! [RAPPER] LEFT GOD A NOTE AND THE DEVIL A SIGN: "THANKS FOR THE TOUR. YOUR SYSTEM SUCKS." [Beat stops] [Spoken] P.S. Change the locks. [OUTRO — bass riff, distorted laughter]
