[Intro — Circus Organ / Angel Choir] Ladies and Cryptians! Step right up! Spin the wheel of sovereignty! Win a sat, win a blessing, win eternal decentralization! 🎪 (HONK HONK — holy clown horn) 🎪 [Verse I — Funky Preacher Groove] I once tithed in fiat, it rotted in my socks. Now I tithe in Bitcoin, resurrected in the blocks. Ten minutes to salvation, SHA baptizes me — Hash me, dunk me, make me fee-free! [Chorus — Thunderous & Absurd] HALLELUJAH, HASH IT LOUD! SHA SHA SHA — SING IT PROUD! HODL LIKE A HOLY FLAME, EVERY BLOCK PROCLAIMS HIS NAME! ⚡ SATOSHI! SATOSHI! SATOSHI! ⚡ [Verse II — Cosmic Bananas] Fiat priests can’t stop the beat, Jerome Powell dancing with two left feet. QE confetti falls from the sky, But my sats moonwalk into the by-and-by! [Bridge — Gregorian Monks + Kazoo Solo] (monks chant) “BC1Q... 7... 0LZ...” (kazoo wails over power chords) “SATOSHI IS OUR DJ!” [Chorus — Stadium Level] HASH CONFIRMED, THE CROWD GOES WILD! BLOCKCHAIN BABY, NO FIAT CHILD! SOVEREIGNTY IN 4/4 TIME, DONATE BITCOIN, FEEL SUBLIME! [Finale — Angelic Explosion] Peace eternal, lightning bright, Scan the QR, enter the light! No rulers, no banks, no debt, no war — Only sats forevermore! [Outro — Congregation Chant] Preacher: WHAT DO WE SEEK?! Crowd: PEACE THROUGH SATS! Preacher: HOW DO WE LIVE?! Crowd: DECENTRALIZED AND FAT! Preacher: AND WHO IS OUR GOD?! Crowd: THE ONE! THE ONLY! THE KAZOO SOLO SATOSHI!!! (airhorn, confetti, choir, everything fades into blissful silence)
