Verse He likes women in short shorts, flip‑flops smackin’ like applause His wife rolls her eyes so hard she nearly breaks the laws of physics He says, “Honey, I’m old and ugly, no girl wants this mess of a man” She says, “That ain’t the point, you clown — just stop lookin’ when you can” Chorus He’s a disaster, a flirt, a talker But he ain’t no smooth‑walkin’ stalker He just forgets he’s married sometimes Till she reminds him with that look that chills his spine He wants a drink but he knows he’d fall So he tries to behave… barely at all Verse At the restaurant, music’s playin’, he’s vibin’, feelin’ fine Then a girl in flip‑flops walks by and he forgets he’s got a spine Orders one drink, then two, then steals his wife’s mojito She grabs the keys and drives them home like a superhero Bridge She says, “Go to bed,” he says, “No way, I’ll dream of flip‑flops all night if I lay” She groans, “Lord help me, this man is wild” But deep down she loves that ridiculous child Final Chorus He’s a disaster, but he’s her disaster And he’s learning to focus on what matters Short shorts come and short shorts go But a wife like her? That’s a forever glow
