Don’t Make A Super Mutant Mad

[Intro – announcer voice, cheerful] ♪ Big, green, and mean — it’s everyone’s postwar pal! Don’t make a Super Mutant mad! ♪ [Verse 1] I was strollin’ through the city on a fine old day, Heard a rumble comin’ my way, Turned around and what’d I see? A Super Mutant starin’ back at me! [Chorus] Don’t make a Super Mutant mad, He’ll smash your hat and take your pad, He’ll use your car to scratch his back, And call it “Human snack attack!” Don’t make a Super Mutant mad, Just smile and move along, He’s got fists the size of fridges, friend, And a voice like a thunder song! [Verse 2] He said “Tiny human, what you do here?” I said “Just lookin’ for a souvenir.” He grinned so wide, I nearly froze, Then picked me up by my Sunday clothes! [Chorus – reprise] Don’t make a Super Mutant mad, He’s grumpy when he’s glad, He’ll chase you clear to Bunker Hill, And brag about the thrill! [Bridge – spoken over walking bass] He don’t mean evil all the time, He’s just got hunger on his mind, So if you see him, just be polite, And pray he’s eaten right! [Verse 3] He’s got a buddy named Strong, that’s true, They’ll argue ‘bout what meat to chew, But offer beans or a can of stew, They might just let you through! [Final Chorus] Don’t make a Super Mutant mad, He’s simple, strong, and sad, He don’t bite hard if you just say “hi,” Then wave and run, don’t ask why! Don’t make a Super Mutant mad— It’s a fight you can’t outlast! ’Cause when that big green fella frowns, You’ll be runnin’ mighty fast! [Outro – announcer voice over brass outro] ♪ Remember folks — kindness is key, but distance is smarter! ♪