Worldwide Roast Tour

alternative folk-rock, chant-pop rock, spoken-word rock

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V6-WILD

Paris rolled its eyes, Madrid shook its head,
Rome heard your comeback and wished it stayed unsaid.
Berlin lit a candle, but yours wasn’t bright,
Amsterdam checked twice—still no sharp knife.

**Chorus**
Worldwide roast tour, stamp that passport twice,
Every country’s got a joke and none of them are nice.
From Tokyo trains to Brazilian sun,
Your brain went travelling and forgot to come.
North, south, east, west, everyone agrees:
You’ve got championship confidence with bargain-bin expertise.
Spin the globe, pick a place, hear them all report:
You’re internationally certified as one brain cell short.

**Verse 2**
Sweden checked the horses—half of yours were gone,
Finland lost some Moomins before the break of dawn.
Norway checked the drawer, the sharpest knife had fled,
Poland found a pencil with more sense in its lead.

India poured the chai while your thoughts took leave,
Japan watched your common sense miss the train at three.
Seoul said your brain had weak café Wi-Fi,
Mexico watched your planning fall apart mid-try.

**Rap Break**
New York said, “Buffering.”
Toronto said, “Please.”
Paris shrugged dramatically,
Rome fell to its knees.

Berlin filed a report,
Sydney grilled your pride,
Stockholm lost your horses,
And Helsinki checked outside.

Seoul reset the router,
Tokyo checked the line,
Brazil said, “Great confidence—
Shame the talent missed its time.”

Cape Town kept it simple:
“Sharp mouth, blunt brain.”
Then the whole world joined together
And sang the same refrain.

**Bridge**
No borders, no limits, no place left to hide,
Your ego bought first class while your logic stayed outside.
Every timezone witnessed it, every ocean got the news,
You somehow crossed the whole damn planet
And still managed to lose.

**Final Chorus**
Worldwide roast tour, final boarding call,
You travelled every continent and got roasted by them all.
From rainy British streets to the Mexican heat,
Every comeback you attempted landed at your feet.
North, south, east, west, here comes the report:
Your confidence is massive, but your reasoning came up short.
The whole globe checked lost-and-found from airport to resort—
**Nobody found your common sense on the Worldwide Roast Tour.**

2814/7500

**Verse 1** London called you a muppet, Dublin laughed out loud, Sydney said, “Mate, you’re lost in the crowd.” Canada stayed polite, but still had to say, “Bud, your common sense took the weekend away.” Paris rolled its eyes, Madrid shook its head, Rome heard your comeback and wished it stayed unsaid. Berlin lit a candle, but yours wasn’t bright, Amsterdam checked twice—still no sharp knife. **Chorus** Worldwide roast tour, stamp that passport twice, Every country’s got a joke and none of them are nice. From Tokyo trains to Brazilian sun, Your brain went travelling and forgot to come. North, south, east, west, everyone agrees: You’ve got championship confidence with bargain-bin expertise. Spin the globe, pick a place, hear them all report: You’re internationally certified as one brain cell short. **Verse 2** Sweden checked the horses—half of yours were gone, Finland lost some Moomins before the break of dawn. Norway checked the drawer, the sharpest knife had fled, Poland found a pencil with more sense in its lead. India poured the chai while your thoughts took leave, Japan watched your common sense miss the train at three. Seoul said your brain had weak café Wi-Fi, Mexico watched your planning fall apart mid-try. **Chorus** Worldwide roast tour, stamp that passport twice, Every country’s got a joke and none of them are nice. From Tokyo trains to Brazilian sun, Your brain went travelling and forgot to come. North, south, east, west, everyone agrees: You’ve got championship confidence with bargain-bin expertise. Spin the globe, pick a place, hear them all report: You’re internationally certified as one brain cell short. **Rap Break** New York said, “Buffering.” Toronto said, “Please.” Paris shrugged dramatically, Rome fell to its knees. Berlin filed a report, Sydney grilled your pride, Stockholm lost your horses, And Helsinki checked outside. Seoul reset the router, Tokyo checked the line, Brazil said, “Great confidence— Shame the talent missed its time.” Cape Town kept it simple: “Sharp mouth, blunt brain.” Then the whole world joined together And sang the same refrain. **Bridge** No borders, no limits, no place left to hide, Your ego bought first class while your logic stayed outside. Every timezone witnessed it, every ocean got the news, You somehow crossed the whole damn planet And still managed to lose. **Final Chorus** Worldwide roast tour, final boarding call, You travelled every continent and got roasted by them all. From rainy British streets to the Mexican heat, Every comeback you attempted landed at your feet. North, south, east, west, here comes the report: Your confidence is massive, but your reasoning came up short. The whole globe checked lost-and-found from airport to resort— **Nobody found your common sense on the Worldwide Roast Tour.**

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