[Verse 1] (tone: sarcastic storytelling) Saturday night, wedding bells rang Everybody dressed up, doing their thing Champagne flowing, speeches made Love in the air, a beautiful day Then somewhere between the cake and the toast Our deli manager became the ghost Face-down sleeping, out cold flat Apparently the table was his welcome mat ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] (tone: laughing disbelief) Mid-thirties, suit and tie Couldn’t survive an open bar night ⸻ [Chorus] (tone: catchy, sarcastic) Carried out in formal wear Feet up high and head nowhere The bride said “I do” The manager said “floor” Guess we know who won that war Carried out in formal wear Living proof life isn’t fair Because somehow he’s still in charge And I’m just stocking turkey parts ⸻ [Verse 2] (tone: circus energy) Meanwhile back at the grocery zoo The night shift’s got its own review Supervisor got called upstairs For not supervising anywhere Funny thing, she loves to bark When she’s talking to us before dark But the boys at night get VIP passes While she practically wipes their asses ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] (tone: eye-roll) Rules for us Excuses for them Funny how that works again ⸻ [Chorus] (tone: bigger) Carried out in formal wear Night crew acting unaware One got written up One got dragged away And somehow this was all one day Carried out in formal wear Management beyond repair Every week’s another show And I refuse to buy front row ⸻ [Bridge] (tone: mock documentary) Let’s review the evidence: One manager unconscious. One supervisor written up. Several adult men needing instructions To complete basic tasks. And somehow The deli is still open. Remarkable. ⸻ [Breakdown] (tone: full circus announcer) Ladies and gentlemen! Step right up! Witness the incredible grocery store spectacular! Featuring: A manager defeated by wedding champagne! A supervisor defeated by accountability! And an exhausted deli worker Wondering how she’s the responsible one! ⸻ [Final Chorus] (tone: triumphant chaos) Carried out in formal wear Written up and unaware Every week’s another plot That somehow keeps getting more bizarre Carried out in formal wear I swear nobody works up there But thanks for all the entertainment Because this department Writes my songs for me ⸻ [Outro] (tone: mic drop) The wedding survived. The deli survived. The night crew survived. The open bar did not
